Hello all,

I am 21 year old who is almost going to graduate college with a degree in civil and environmental engineering. Seems good right? Well lets just say Ive been unhappy with some of the decisions Ive made regarding major and job. Exactly one year ago I was doubting myself because I kept questioning myself if I had chosen the right major. I switched to math but then my professor introduced me to wastewater, and I thought it was awesome since it involved poop water and chemistry. She let me work in her lab and I had a great time working in there, I didn’t feel like it was a job. I liked it so much that I was considering doing a masters in environmental engineering while doing research. Well i saw a job opportunity and submitted an application to a water treatment/chemical company who does heating and cooling systems. I was like ” ill apply just cuz”. I did and they wanted an interview. Now I had a dilemma, I was already going to work on some research with my professor but now I had a job opportunity at hand. I really like research and working with chemicals but a potential full time job was tempting. I spoke to everyone and they all said I should take it, but I really wanted to do research. At the end I rejected the interview but 2 days later I told them my research was suspended when it really had not been suspended. I got a second chance and the job.

I should have been happy right? Wrong. I was miserable after 3 weeks of working there and hated my life. I dropped out of my summer thermodynamics class because it reminded me of how much work sucked. Even though I was around chemicals, i was still unhappy. The bosses also noticed that, and called me to a meeting. I broke down, telling them that I was a hard worker and I put 100 percent in my work. Indirectly I told them I did not like to get up in the morning to go to work. So they gave me a choice to stay with them or part ways. I decided to stay with them because in the end, it was something to do. Throughout this whole summer, I have been doubting myself. I don’t know if env engineering was for me or why I chose it. Ive always loved chemistry but never pursued a career in it because a BS would not get you anywhere. Now i feel like I don’t even like chem or wastewater treatment. Things that had interested me a lot before. I was offered yet another interview with a environmental lab but I am hesitating to take it because Im afraid I won’t like it. Every decision I make now seems to have consequences, when in reality its a simple decision such as whether to cut my hair or not. Ive been down too because I haven’t had a girlfriend in awhile too and I see people with families and babies and see that they’re happy. 6 months ago I was cracking jokes but now Im not. I hate the fact I doubt myself. I feel like theres a knot inside me sometimes and feel anxious. I used to be a really positive person but now I seem really negative. I have a year left of school and don’t know what to do. (It used to be a semester but my dropped class ruined that). Ive been using this summer as a time to reflect but its almost over and there are many decision that can affect my life. I could have an interview with the lab next week if I chose to also… Any advice is appreciated!