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Unrequited Love is Bringing Me Down

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  • #51693
    cred12
    Participant

    My girlfriend of 1 year broke up with me over 1 1/2 years ago. Even after we broke up I had an unhealthy attachment to her. After about 6 months of trying to get her to come back I cut off contact. We have had minimal contact for the past year or so. Even though she is no longer a part of my life I still love her. I love her to death, and while she cares about me she doesn’t love me. It kills me to think about her because I want so badly to have my love for her reciprocated. I have tried to move on. I really have. Seriously, my love for her is bringing me down. It sits in the back of my head and when I am in a bad mood it always pops up and I start to obsess. When I am not in a bad mood she is still there, she is like a dull pain, my heart is broken and it makes it hard for me to do anything. My studies, activities, and friendships have suffered as a result. I doubt she will take me back. Last time I tried she just sighed and told me I should just move on. I want to so badly, but I can’t force myself to not love her. My love isn’t rational and I have no control over it. At I accepted this feeling, I figured it would take some time. But after 10 months, I got really frustrated. It has been almost a year now. What do I? I am suffering. I have tried so many things too. Anti-depressants, therapy, meditation, exercise, changing my diet, finding new hobbies. None of it works.

    #51708
    tinywanderlust
    Participant

    Letting go is so hard. Try hypnosis. I know it might sound crazy, but find a certified hypnotherapist. It really can help move past things.

    #51753
    Dave
    Participant

    You feel like you’re in your own private hell with no way out. Forget all the platitudes .Knowing that time will heal and that the pain will diminish is all very well if you are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel but next to useless when you’re stuck in this eternal misery. You must speak to a therapist. Exorcising your feelings in front of a trained professional is the only way to get thorough this .Please speak to your GP and insist that he refers you “Communicare” or a private therapist practicing on the NHS .I am currently going through my own dark night if the soul and I have seen a councillor on and off for the six months or so. Don’t try and do this alone. Help is out there you just have to love yourself enough to ask.

    #51791
    gotye89
    Participant

    Hi, I can totally understand your pain. My advice would in tune with the above, mainly talk it through with a professional therapist but I would also recommend that you take each day as it comes and by that I mean experience every emotion and don’t try to run away from experiencing anything. I learnt that this is the trick – to truly experience everything as I too have recently went through something similar and I realised that the best thing you can do is to actually feel everything that you want to feel. Just let it all out and over time divert these energies elsewhere. Second piece of advice pertaining to your situation is to set boundaries – set boundaries with regard to what you will tolerate in future relationships. Please know that you must look ahead no matter how hard it is and how much further in the future you will want to pursue another relationship but start jotting down things somewhere (in a notebook maybe) about what you will do next time so as to prevent yourself from getting so hurt such as maintaining boundaries as I mentioned before. For many, a boundary is as simple as not sharing too many personal details so as to prevent the occurrence of an emotional attachment until and unless they truly believe the other person is worth getting a relationship into with. I hope this helps. Much of the advice in this rely is from personal experience. best wishes and Namaste.

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