Dear kl292:

By reading your last paragraph, it is clear to me that there is something I am clear about that you don’t understand: you have nothing to apologize for. You sending the box to the person was not an act of immaturity. Of these things I am sure and have been certain about from the first time I read your thread.

When you were involved in the organization, you had a sense of power for the first time in your life by that point. You had power, power over what do with a material resource- that box. You felt guilty and still do, for not giving it to your parents.

I understand you are currently unemployed. Were you employed in the past? If you were and earned money, did you give it to your parents? Are you planning on handing them future paycheck as payback… for all they materially gave you?

anita

Dear kl92:

I didn’t suggest you give your parents money, not at all. What I suggested is that I think you feel that you owe your parents a whole lot for providing for you materially as a child and on. I think you feel guilty for “betraying” them and instead of giving them back something material you had, you gave it to a third party. It is almost like you feel that you broke a contract with your parents.

If so, I am making the following point: your parents owed you to provide for you materially and if they chose to spend more money on you than they had to, that was their choice. There was no contract you signed: parents provide for child; child has to give money back to parents.

Maybe your parents expressed such an expectation to you, that you will give them back their money. You may not be aware that they gave you this message again and again. One or both of your parents may have guilted you.

In reality you had the right to do with that box of t shirts and freebies whatever you chose. You didn’t owe your parents the box just as you don’t owe them back pay for providing for you materially.

Thoughts?

anita

Thoughts?