February 1, 2015 at 4:09 pm #72204JessaParticipant
I am about to graduate soon, and I need to start networking to build some opportunities for places to work. There is a professor who sometimes offers work opportunities to students after graduation, and I think that I’d really enjoy working with him. However, he tends to not extend these offers unless the student approaches him first and shows some interest.
It seems straightforward, but I’m freaking out over it!!! Logically I know that the worst he can do is say no if I ask, and it won’t kill me. But I’m still terrified! I KNOW it’s going to hurt a lot if he says no, and unfortunately I’m just not sure what his answer will be. I can see it going either way, because I’m not 100% sure what his perspective is on me as a student. He’s seen me at a couple of my worst moments as a student, though plenty of good ones as well.
I’m so, so tempted to avoid asking. I don’t want to miss out on the potential opportunity and I know I’ll regret it if I don’t ask, but I’m so scared of the rejection that it seems almost worth it not to. I admire him enough that I care (maybe too much) about his opinion. I can’t see the forest for the trees here- my emotions are getting in the way. Can someone please give me some advice and/or perspective? Anyone been in a situation like this before?February 1, 2015 at 4:23 pm #72205YueParticipant
In a lot of ways, you have already answered your own question in that you know you will regret it if you don’t ask and there is absolutely nothing to be gained for not asking (while asking will present the opportunity for employment). Yes, it’s true that he may say no and if that’s the answer, it will be heart breaking and soul rendering but this pain is still far less than the disappointment you have in yourself for not asking. As an adult, do you admire someone who tried, failed but kept trying or someone who gives up before trying? Be the person you admire and you will build your confidence no matter what the outcome is for this encounter.
Oh and if it helps, we are usually more critical of ourselves than anyone else in the world. So you might think that he’s seen you at your worst but it’s highly likely that it’s not as bad as you thought.February 1, 2015 at 6:36 pm #72216trusttheflowParticipant
If you dont ask him…. You will be stuck with asking yourself why you didnt…. For the rest of your life. Sounds like a big deal. Even IF he says no make sure he knows how to contact you in the future. Im sure he is wise beyond imagination. Let it be known you ARE interested but dont forget that his answer is NOT equivelant to how you should view yourself. You know your worth. Being rejected by him will probably hurt BUT, WHO CARES!?! Go for it! You know youve got to take the leap, just do it! WHo cares what the result is. Just be brave! It’s ok. :)”Its better to try and fail, then to never have tried at all” We are all learning! Take care!February 2, 2015 at 6:16 am #72244losp33dParticipant
You don’t get what you don’t ask for.
Nor will this be the last opportunity you have in life.