Dear Livia:

You sound like (read like, more accurately) a rational, reasonable person.

“For me it was just the sudden change based on all our conversations“- being blocked with no warning is a sudden and unpleasant change, and reads like it was uncalled for, meaning, you didn’t harass him and as a result, he blocked you.

It could’ve been that it was easier for him to say nothing (to block you) than it was for him to say something  (to explain himself, to admit to what was inconvenient for him to admit to), in which case, blocking you was a weak/ cowardly move on his part.

“Sometime in the future I will confront him face to face. As for now I just need to heal and move on with my life“- reads reasonable.

“I will be travelling again to the state that the guy lives at the end of the month and I will most likely be there more regularly for business. I am not ready to have any run in with him“- may strength and courage be with you in all that you do. Please post again anytime you’d like my input.

anita

Dear Priyan:

You are welcome, good to read back from you although I am sad that you are feeling confused, hurt, ignored and used.

(I am adding the boldface feature to the following quotes from your post today): “We spent the time together cooking her dish for potluck, watching movies, going out and obviously having a lot of fun in the bedroom. This time I showed my affection and love for her more than usual when she was with me. We hugged, kissed and cuddled more often than usual. I should also tell you that while I was the one who initiated the hugs and cuddles, she never resisted and participated with the same enthusiasm. But she also made sure to keep reminding me that I am nothing more than a good friend with benefits. I even took her to her doctor’s appointment and when was diagnosed to be clinically depressed, I helped her look up therapists in her area”-

– she was diagnosed with clinical depression during the same week she was with you… the same week when she appeared to have a lot of much fun with you, enthusiastically hugging and kissing you?

“I asked her point blank if she was avoiding me. She replied that she has a lot going on for her (didn’t say what) and that she needs her space. She also said she wants to rethink the relationship she has with me and that she wants to cut back on how much time we spend talking/spending with each other as she is scared that might hurt both of us if/when we decide to date other people. So in essence, she went from someone who used to send me romantic texts and video call everyday to… someone who wants to take a break from me now. All this while we were having sex and she knowing that I have feelings for her. From the way she is behaving I cannot say if she has any feelings for me or is she just scared of commitment and is trying to run away from her emotions“-

-her behavior makes me think of a person on a diet, avoiding fattening foods altogether, but every once in a while, going on a binge: eating a lot of the fattening foods they otherwise avoid, then regret the binge and go back to their diet.. until the next binge. This would explain her enthusiastically hugging you, etc., spending a lot of affectionate and sexual time with you and then-  going to the other extreme of no affection and no sex. Does this comparison make sense to you?

anita

Dear Priyan:

“If she really did have feelings for me, she would have shown that, yes?“- I suppose she did show feelings for you when kissing you, hugging you, cuddling, etc., but she has a complexity of feelings and her most relevant and dominant  feeling in regard to you is that she wants space from you, and she views the relationship negatively enough to fear that it “might hurt” her (her words).

“Should I give her the space she asked for and wait until she gets back to me with an answer or should I just walk away? I know it is going to hurt either way, but, will the pain be any less if I walk away?“-

– I think that walking away and letting her know that you are walking away from her is a better choice because it is the choice where you are exercising some control over your life. On the other hand, to “wait until she gets back to (you)” is a choice where you give her control over you.

Like you said, either way it will hurt, but better that you hurt while having some power/ control over what happens in your life than hurting while powerless, waiting and depending on what she might or might not feel, say and do at any one time in the future. Does this make sense to you?

anita

Dear Priyan:

“She is a self proclaimed empath and a spiritual person. She believes in past lives, reincarnation…  last night, she said that she wanted to end it because she goes into a depressed state after we have sex…. According to her this is a sign from the universe that my ‘soul’ is not good for her ‘soul’. She also claimed that I drain all her energy when I am with her and called me an ‘energy vampire’. Now what I don’t understand is, how can I be bad for her soul when I only have respect and love for her? I have never had any ill intentions towards her at all. When I asked her this question, she said that I am a good person but my soul is doing it subconsciously”-

– So, what she is saying that it is not Priyan in his current incarnation (as Priyan) who is an “energy vampire” who is draining her energy and making her depressed every time after she has sex with you, but it is your previous incarnations (as other people who lived and died before you) who are doing this to her. This means that you (Priyan) having love and respect for her and no ill intentions is not relevant, because it’s about people who lived and died before you were born.

“It hurts a lot because she made me the bad guy here”-  correction: the guys before you were born.

“On top of being hurt, I am losing my mind trying to figure out if there was any truth to what she said. How am I even supposed to make sense of her reasons, let alone move on?“-

– You can’t argue against her faith-based, never to be proven or disproven current understanding of things. Looking at the title of your thread, “Was I led on or was it all my imagination?“- seems to me that she is led by her own imagination, at this point, and it’s better for you to not take a further ride in her imagination journey.. or episode.

How do you feel about my reply?

anita