Dear Laven:

After reading all your threads, including this most recent one, and spending a few hours this Sunday morning studying your writings, I’ve gained a deeper understanding of your situation. I want to take a moment to truly acknowledge the immense weight you’re carrying. What you’ve shared reflects an immense amount of pain, exhaustion, and loneliness, and I just want to say—I see you. Your experiences, your emotions, and the depth of what you’ve endured matter.

You’ve spent your life being strong for others—providing care, protecting, and sacrificing—but that doesn’t mean you are only meant to serve. You deserve to be cared for, supported, and valued—not just tolerated.

It’s heartbreaking to see how deeply embedded dysfunction has been in your life, and not because you chose it. It makes sense that stepping outside of it feels impossible—but even small steps toward self-care, toward honoring yourself, are worth it.

I know that healing feels unreachable, maybe even unrealistic, but you are not broken beyond repair. You are more than what others have put you through. You are worthy of understanding, of love, of feeling truly seen and heard.

Beyond everything, I want to acknowledge your remarkable strengths—because you have many. You are a talented writer, capable of expressing emotions and experiences with deep insight and honesty. Your words paint vivid pictures, and that in itself is a gift. You are a loving person, even in spaces where love has not been reciprocated. The care and protection you’ve given your foster mother—even when she hasn’t deserved it—show the depth of your heart. That same compassion is part of who you are, and it’s powerful.

You also have resilience—even in the hardest moments, even when you feel like there is nothing left, you keep going. That strength matters, even when it feels invisible to you.

You don’t have to navigate all of this alone. Seeking professional support could help lighten the burden you’ve carried for so long. You deserve guidance that is compassionate, trauma-informed, and truly focused on helping you find peace within yourself. And if you ever want to share more—on the forums, please know you are always welcome to express yourself without judgment from me.

Sending warmth your way. You matter, and I hope one day you feel that fully. 💙

anita