What do you do when you're alone?

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    As I have been growing older (I’m 24), I find more and more times when I am alone. Friends are all busy with work or conflicting schedules. I have always found joy and comfort being around other people so this has been particularly challenging for me. I simply do not enjoy being alone, however, I know that I must become more comfortable with it. When I’m alone I feel tired and anxious. I try to keep busy with chores and exercise but I’m afraid I’m just distracting myself from my inability to be alone. What do you all do when you’re alone? How about when you are alone and feeling lonely? I know I hold the key to my happiness, but I’m lacking the motivation to find it.


    Dear coc)kins:

    It is natural to find comfort in the company of another person or persons. It is natural for people and for animals. In other words it is in our nature, in our biology, genes. Often people need a break from being with people, time alone to recover, relax before desiring, again, to be with another or with others. so it is a matter of balance: being with others at times and being alone at other times.

    You wrote that you are lacking the motivation to find the key to your happiness. Can you tell me/ us here, more about it?




    I’m 24 and I am desperately trying to get good at being alone too. It’s certainly a work on progress…

    It’s not that I’m not independent… I just have trouble entertaining myself and figure out what makes me particularly happy to do regardless of my life circumstances or who is there to do it with me.

    So far, I’ve found that being spontaneous is a really good tool in being alone. If you’re driving or walking, and you see something cool or want to do something – just go for it!

    I have moments on the drive home from work, and the thought pops into my head to go to the park or stop at a restaurant for a nice dinner before heading back to my place – and I just go for it!!!

    I mean, it’s hard though, I don’t exactly have any go-to activities besides walking. I want to get more hobbies but I’m not too sure what to invest in. I’m thinking about maybe taking a class or doing something with a social element so I could fill my life with more people – whether I talk to them or not.

    Why do you feel anxious?


    I remember how shockingly lonely I was at 24; everyone had graduated from school and I was living on my own and working, I didn’t “click” with my coworkers and my friends were scattered across the country. Honestly, I dealt with it by visiting my family a lot, and making loads of Internet Friends in online forums (like this one!) Even an independent introvert like myself needed to feel connected to others.


    It’s always difficult when change brings about something unwanted – i too, after uni and moving to a fresh city for work, found it incredible that i had become so isolated. No longer did i have that big group of mates, or the local pub to visit and you always knew someone in there to talk to. So what do you do when you feel lonely? You fill that time up with stuff so you don’t feel lonely. However, that is easier said than done because doing even stuff alone can make you feel even more lonlier, because you wish you were doing it with someone else! So there really is only one option, get out there and make some companions. Thankfully there are a couple of good sites that bring people in similar boats, with similar interests together. One is called meetup – check it out, join some groups that take your fancy and take the plunge at making some new friends.

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