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what do you live for

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  • This topic has 3 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 9 months ago by Tee.
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  • #420735
    l
    Participant

    Hi,

    question for everyone, what do you live for? What makes life worthwhile for you? I can’t come up with anything, I am trapped in life because ending it would hurt others and I feel guilty for being so low as I know others have it much worse.

    I am 34, I have lifelong depression, eating disorder the last 5 years, bladder issues that make me wet myself sometimes, I have dyslexia, dyspraxia and probably ADHD. I have a relationship (7 years), but he has Autism and extreme fatigue, he often doesn’t have the energy to talk with me or kiss me and I feel lonely most of the time. We do love each other but my need for feeling loved is not met, I don’t think anyone else would want me anyway. I do everything for the household, chores, organizing ect. I want children more than anything, but he won’t until he has energy, he is currently off work sick and spends all day watching YouTube, he says it’s getting better, but I am scared I will run out of time. Not sure it’s moral to have children with my genetics anyway, but nobody would let us adopt. My life is go to work, come home, sit and watch tv/do chores, eat, sleep and repeat, with the odd watch tv/play a board game together thrown in.  I just had a week off work and my life has felt so empty.

    And life doesn’t get better, please don’t tell me that. For 20+ years I have felt sad, empty, depressed ect.

    #420751
    Helcat
    Participant

    Hi I

    Good question! For me, my main focus in life is working on my mental and physical health. I love my family and my pets. I appreciate being able to support myself working. I’m studying to improve my capacity to support myself and my family in the future. I also care about helping people and enjoy watching tv.

    I’m sorry to hear that you are experiencing a lifelong depression, eating disorder and a number of other conditions. I’m sorry to hear about the difficulties with your partner too.

    I can understand why you don’t feel like your needs are being met. They aren’t! I have a lot of empathy for people who are neurodivergent, or have mental and physical health issues as I experience these difficulties myself. But I think the most important factor is trying. It doesn’t sound like he is trying at the moment. Would you agree?

    It sounds very unfair for you to go to work and manage all of the housework when you get home.

    Ill people can only do what they can manage, but even a little help I’m sure you would appreciate. It’s sounds like it’s not just the physical side of things that is missing, but the emotional side too. At the moment, your partner isn’t being a partner. You’re his carer. It’s honestly a very difficult situation that you are in!

    Please feel free to share your thoughts.

    Wishing you all the best! 🙏

    #420753
    Roberta
    Participant

    Dear I

    At the moment my life revolves mainly around family, caring for my father (92 dementia) and son, daughter in law & two grandchildren  under 5, it is a period of my life that I am pulling on the reserves of my previous spiritual learnings & remembering to find joy in the little things of the moment and trying not to hanker after the past or yearning for the future freedom which only causes me suffering.

    I am sorry that your life is hard & bleak for you at this moment on top of your ongoing struggles.  We are all worthy of love & support both from ourselves & others. I hope that both of you get the support that you need. I get voluntary help from friends & a carers foundation which has helped ease my burdens somewhat, there is no shame in asking for help, in fact it is a wise and compassionate action.

    Take care

    #420881
    Tee
    Participant

    Dear I,

    I am sorry you’ve been suffering from depression and other health issues. It’s tough to live with a chronic illness, be it mental or physical. I do feel for you.

    And life doesn’t get better, please don’t tell me that. For 20+ years I have felt sad, empty, depressed ect.

    Unfortunately you’re right – life doesn’t just get better by itself. We need to do something about it. Have you been in treatment for your depression? Do you perhaps know what it’s related to? If it started in your childhood/youth, it probably has to do with some sort of adverse childhood experience. I think we cannot really move on in our lives until we heal the major wounds of our childhood.

    Please share some more, if you feel like it.

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