You are welcome and thank you for the update. You wrote: “seeing his name there in front of me in black and white filled me with such fear/dread”- the emotion of fear follows the perception of danger. His name was interpreted in your brain as danger, and fear followed, all in a split second. The message in your emotion is loud and clear: he is danger to your mental health. Please do keep no contact with him. Leave him in the past forevermore.