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What was your “dark night of the soul like”?

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  • #402572
    Shari
    Participant

    Two years ago I underwent a very serious spiritual emergence that included a 124 Day dark night of the soul, and I almost didn’t make it through to the other side. Today I am a better person for facing my past mistakes and demons. I am free now, and KNOW there is a God. How was your dark night(s)?

    #402577
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Shari:

    nerdy creator. com: “‘The Dark Night of the Soul’ is a term that is commonly used to describe a period of spiritual transformation. <span id=”ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-119″ class=”ezoic-adpicker-ad”></span>During this dark period, one feels depressed, lost, and lonely. Everything seems meaningless, hollow, and empty. There is no meaning to life and nothing makes sense anymore… Our soul is always full of aliveness, joy, freedom, and love. It’s always expanding and connected to the Higher Power. But the problem is most of us are not in tune with our souls. We act from the ego instead and therefore, we suffer.

    “The Dark Night of the Soul signifies the beginning of a shift in perspective from our ego to our soul. We realize that the ego’s perspective no longer works for us anymore but we are not yet connected with our soul. So we are stuck in between these two states and have no clear sense of identity or a stable home to reside in… Previously, when we act from our ego, we derive our identity from our career, our wealth, our relationships, our roles, etc. But once we realize that these things don’t actually make us happy, we lose our purpose in achieving or acquiring them. The conceptual framework that once gave us meanings and kept us going in life collapsed. That’s why we experience an existential crisis and a loss of identity. We don’t know who we are, what we want in life, and what to do with our lives anymore…

    “Someone who gets through the Dark Night of the Soul doesn’t completely identify with their ego anymore. You experience some kind of ego death and you know that you are not your thoughts. You are more connected to your soul, you have a new purpose in life, and you take on a different identity. There is some kind of transformation and spiritual awakening. Your old personality dissolves and you come out a different person” –

    – there is plenty more in this website including suggestions under “What do you do during the dark night of the soul?”

    I want to reply further in about 10 hours from now.

    anita

    #402592
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Shari:

    I will respond to both of your threads in this post (I hope that other members reply to you on your other thread). Yesterday, you submitted this original post on this thread: “Two years ago I underwent a very serious spiritual emergence that included a 124 Day dark night of the soul, and I almost didn’t make it through to the other side. Today I am a better person for facing my past mistakes and demons. I am free now, and KNOW there is a God. How was your dark night(s)?”

    Six minutes later, you submitted this original post in a second thread: “I feel so sad sometimes for different reasons just like everyone else. But for me, even when I am feeling agony inside, I am unable to cry tears or express myself to drain the sadness out of me. It all stays kept inside where I am full up and cannot tolerate much more. I am worried I may have a break-down of some sort if I don’t face my feelings and let things go.”

    From these two short original posts I gather that last year you experienced 124 days (about 4 months) of feeling almost intolerably sad, lost and lonely. What made sense before, no longer made sense. What you thought mattered before, no longer mattered. You either lost your faith in God or doubted that God exists. Your life felt meaningless and empty. It was perhaps as if the ground underneath you collapsed and you were falling into nothingness.

    Following these 124 days, you experienced freedom: freedom from your Ego (your past THOUGHTS about what matters in life) and you got in touch with your Soul (your KNOWING of what matters in life). Your faith in God was restored. You felt that you faced your mistakes and demons and that you were a better person for it.

    This year, you still feel “so sad” sometimes, but you are unable to cry tears or express yourself in such a way that will drain the sadness out of you. You are worried that you may have a breakdown of some sort because your sadness and agony feel intolerably intense at times.

    My thoughts:  my personal experience with spiritual-emotional transformations is that the benefits of the transformation do not last because we (people) tend to .. forget. It’s like a spiritual transformation needs to be PRACTICED every day for it to take hold long term and forevermore.

    When following a spiritual- emotional transformation we feel better, at first, we appreciate the difference between how we feel now and how badly we felt before. But after a while, we forget how badly we felt before the transformation, we therefore no longer compare how we feel now to how we felt before, and without that comparison,-we become dissatisfied again.

    Does this make sense to you?

    anita

    #402725
    Roberta
    Participant

    Dear Shari

    A few years back I felt something brewing and it was coinciding when my period was due, so I knew i was in for a rough couple of days so I told my ego/pain body that if it did not behave I would hit it with every bit of dharma I knew.

    I put my self into semi retreat and watched the antics,  thought & emotions unfold. Sometimes I could see them coming in the distance like the four horsemen of the apocalypse other times beautiful thoughts would sweetly dance up to me only changing into sneaky gremlins at the last minute & all the time Mara was in the background playing chess.

    I was grateful that I had the dharma on hand to help me. I kept safe and caused no harm to myself or others.

    It is true that without nourishing & replenishing our spiritual practice that we once again become absorbed into this samsaric way of living.

    There is a lovely book called In case of Spiritual Emergency. It is well worth a read as many of its references are christian based.

    Wishing you all the best

    Roberta

     

    #403135
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Reader:

    “‘The Dark Night of the Soul’ is a term that is commonly used to describe a period of spiritual transformation… The Dark Night of the Soul signifies the beginning of a shift in perspective from our ego to our soul” (nerdy creator. com)

    <i>”</i>The process of setting ourselves free from ego conditioning is about releasing the defenses we built around our hearts to protect ourselves, and letting life, love, joy in increasingly more…'<i><b>You are love itself when you are not afraid.</b> – </i>Nisargadata Maharaj. – In other words, when you are not the ego, you are the Soul. When you…  operate from to be the Soul, instead of being an ego, you are free. A sense of wonder overwhelms your heart and the tiniest thing feels immensely beautiful… That’s how liberation (ego deconditioning) feels like… and so much more. Discovering your Self as a Soul enables you to feel that you are holding the whole world in your heart… And you do. Because there is always The One Heart beating in all” (bastianela gloria.com).<i></i>

    If anyone reading this would like to comment, share, enlighten, please do!

    anita

    #403179
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Reader:

    Paraphrasing what I quoted above, and shifting to the first person: the process of setting myself free from ego is about letting go of Fear, and letting in Life, love and joy. It is a shift of motivation: from protecting myself (and in so doing, closing in on myself and keeping Life out)  ===> to experiencing Life (opening myself to life, letting Life in).

    Ego is what my brain does when I am afraid: it overthinks, and in so doing, keeping me occupied while existing, while my experience of Life muted, muffled, minimized. Soul is what the brain does when it allows itself to experience Life,  unmuted, unmuffled: it sees and hears and smells and senses all that’s there to sense.

    anita

     

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