Nathaniel Branden…..How to raise your self esteem, The art of living consciously……I have been working through sentence completion exercises from his book…Taking responsibility……..it is slowly, but very surely, vet definitely, changing my life. to the life I want. Yes it involves choices, it involves THINKING, it involves taking total responsibility for ME….but I think that is what I want to achieve in this life.

You can check it out on Amazon…these are books I will probably read for the rest of my life….they might help you?

All the very best,

Will

Jamie..in my life, I KNEW I had to act, do something. I am finding that this is not a quick fix, but there is beauty in it, even if it doesn’t come quickly or always show itself. all I can say is that it seems to be working for me……but I realise it is a PROCESS…and I have no idea as to whether it would work for anyone else. Please take it as a suggestion, meant with best intentions. My fog is clearing..I would love yours to, as well. I am happy to share what I am doing etc…if it might help you…but at the end of the day, the only person who will ever know is you..and that is wonderful!!

Jamie,
I am sorry to hear that you are dealing with thoughts of self-hatred and especially doubt. Doubt is very difficult because it is more subtle and undermines our own very power to enact change in our lives I think that it is good that you are looking for ways to improve your mental environment and mental diet. It shows that you are committed to your own transformation. What I have found most helpful are metta meditations – that is lovingkindness meditations. They are not quite the same as self-affirmations but they are similar. What they do is cultivate an attitude and stance of acceptance and love toward yourself and toward others. I have found that in my own personal experience, focusing on MY thoughts, and MY behaviors aren’t even half the battle. Although it is my thoughts that bring me the most pain, working on them alone is only going to bring partial results and relief from my suffering. So the solution might not be exactly what you think. Even though you see your thoughts as being the problem – working on changing your thoughts may not be the solution. What I have found is that through the cultivation of metta my thoughts natural change and start to work in my own best interest more. They are more loving, more accepting, more compassionate. And so it was brought about not by changing my thoughts directly, but by putting my focus on my desire for myself and others to be happy, to be healthy, to be safe, and to experience well-being. You can find guided metta meditations on you-tube, or consider picking up Sharon Salzberg’s book, “Loving-Kindness.” Or Thich Nhat Hanh’s books are also very helpful and practical and reading them alone will serve as a balm for your suffering.

May you be happy and experience the peace of well-being
-J.D.

Hi Jamie,

Give Christine Arylo a try. She’s got a book “Madly in Love with Me”. It’s got loads of exercises on self-love. Plus you can sign up for her newsletters or check out her videos on youtube. 🙂

Lucia