I am not from either of your cultures, but my little experience with South American culture is that parents can be pretty protective of young adult kids regardless of whether they have a disability; I have understood several families to say that it is more customary for young people to live with their parents even while they go to university (in the same or a nearby town) and only move out when they can support themselves. These families have told me that they think its crazy that in some cultures parents support their kids while they live elsewhere and go to college. Maybe that is wrong, and I do not know more than what you have said. It might be difficult also for any parents not to think there are online “scams” and worry about that as well. But I fully believe that if you both support each other in making the best of your situation, staying with each of your goals of getting education and/or work or volunteer, whatever your goals are, with the idea of being together when you can, it will happen. Maybe he can continue along his own goals and keep showing his parents that he is capable–by presenting ideas of things he can do within his community, certainly within his home, offering to help and learning things, maybe he can start to assure his parents that he is more able than they thought. Also, if you are supporting him in doing those things, and his parents see that you have been a good influence on who he is, then they will come to trust you as well. I wish I had more help for you also. Good luck, courage, strength and peace to you both,

Dear annellin:

1) If your boyfriend is mistreated, as in being abused (examples: being physically hit, held prisoner in his home), then it might be a legal matter, and if it is, maybe there is a police force there that will intervene.

2) If his parents do not abuse him but do not teach him to be as independent as he can be, maybe there is an agency where he lives that provides education for the parents of the blind or an agency that will send a person to the home to teach your boyfriend to be independent.

In the US there is an American Foundation for the Blind and a National Federation of the Blind. Maybe there is information on their website regarding agencies in Brazil helping the blind. You can google those and maybe send a message.

3) You can, if you haven’t so far, write to him an instruction manual, from your experience, about how to be independent. Share with him how independence takes place in your life, in what practical ways. You can teach him, online, best you can.

Annellin, I am sorry you are so upset. Please be as calm as you can be. You being distressed is not going to help him. Be as strong as you can be. Like I wrote before, he is fortunate to have you in your life. Just knowing you care must mean a lot to him. Doesn’t it? Doesn’t he tell you how much it helps him that you are in his life, even if it only online?

anita

You are welcome, annellin. Take good care of yourself.
anita