Thanks for all answers. No, we know that they’ll not loosen up, we suggested to them help for him, but they say no, they know whats best for him. and in his city there are no blind organisations, plus he says that the police is corrupted and will not bother to intervene. They say they trust me, but they don’t want to let him go. I showed that im not a scam by showing them my face, home, talking using my voice, but nothing. They don’t want psychologists close to him, and they don’t allow him to use a phone to be able to contact anyone

I… I don’t know what to do anymore. Who to contact to help him or things. thanks a lot for taking the time to answer to what I wrote here, means a lot

He will not let him come here, not now, not never. And blind or not, he needs independence

Yes, we explained to him about how things will work on the plane etc. No, we don’t have money more than for one ticket. This was my birthday gift from both of my parents. Were a normal family, not a lot of money, but this was theyr sacrifice for me. We explained to him everything possible, but he doesn’t want to listen. K Told that he would do anyting to get out, but he cant get out, he doesn’t know who to contact to get out. He doesn’t like his family and he wants to be away from them forever if possible.

Oh, and sorry. We want his visit to be at least a month, because isn’t worth to give so many money only for two weeks. No, it will not interfere, If he will come in December, I have Christmas vacation

Here is his story:
I don’t know where to start.
I am totaly and completely lost; it happens since i was a child, and even if it hurts, i am used to it.
since i was a child i am alone. at the garden, for example, i was always alone on the break between the classes.
so alone, so lost in fact, that they always needed to call someone to stay with me. for some time my mother, then they got someone to stay with me there, only on the breaks.
i never went to a school only for blind, and until i was 14, i studied in a school where i was the only blind student.
Not hard to guess that i was always abandoned, alone and forgoten. we went outside for something? they forgot to take me back to the classroom, and the damn thing was so big, so full of people, that my little mind, i was a child when it started to happen, just didn’t knew how to react and asked to itself, again and again, why?
it continued to happen, even last year when i finished school, but as i got older i needed to learn alone how to deal with this.
before i started to use the laptop, i always had a book with me, for me to read and explain to everyone who found me, why i was left there.
i never told these people what really happened. thinking now that it’s over, i think that i didn’t wanted them, the students or whatever, to get mad on me because i told someone else what they did.
so first the book, then the computer, and there i was, explaining to everyone who found me, again and again, that i told my friends, that i never had, that i wanted to stay there or read or play, things like that.
I was, until i finished school last year, the best student of my class. And let me tell you, it made things even worse.
They forgot me outside, but inside the classroom they were always fighting to see who would stay with me and take advantage of it.
the thing, i let them to do it, i helped them.
i was desperately needing a friend, so i helped them, hoping that they would be friends and that the things outside the class would stop.
Of course they didn’t, actualy they got worse. it started to happen a lot more, they started to ignore me in class, and only come to me when they needed help with a work, exercise
or something.
at my first school, the one that i was until i was 14, the thing was so bad that the school needed to get someone to stay with me in class and tell me the things that i was supposed to write, because no one would do it.
at the new one it was worse, but there the teachers forced people to sit with me and do it, and hurt a lot to listen their mad tones as they told to me what was needed.
i never told this to sommeone, it happens since i am 6, but i never told this to someone.
sometimes i feel that it is too much, that the stored pain will just explode, that everything will go out.
sometimes i just want to hide, run and hide where no one would be able to find me.
sometimes i get sad without reason, sometimes i can’t sleep, or if i can i have nightmares, and i see myself as a child again, listening as everyone left a classroom or returned to it and left me there, sitting in a corner wondering what would happen next.
so, it happened from 6 to 16.
hard? true, but it isn’t over yet.
another part, sad, hard, were my parents.
controling, protective more than normal, i realised too late what they were doing.
they alwats took care of me, and i was too hurt and alone before to realise that it was even more, and even worse than it.
they made me dependent of them. they never allowed me to do anything, to try to do something for myself, even more if it was something dangerous.
i was talking about it yesterday with my girlfriend, i will talk about her in a bit, that the only thing that they didn’t was ask if i was ok.
i mean, i’m sure that i didn’t managed to hide it completely, even if i tried.
they destroyed my life in a way. i don’t know how to do or use things that i am supposed to know. forks are a crazy example.
they tried to teach me how they use it, not allowed me to learn alone the best way for me to do it.
i started to slowly change it, but i still have a long way to go.
the thing is that i can’t even leave the house. if someone asks them they will say that i don’t do it because i want, but you will agree that it isn’t true, even more if you stop to consider the fact that mother is scared to let me alone at home if they, mother, father brother and sister, are going somewhere. even knowing that i never open to someone, even knowing that i close and lock everything.
what worries me is that they think i am so safe that now when i will be 18 (next month) they will not give me my documents for me to start working and building my life.
until last year, when i realised what was going on, i wasn’t allowed to do anything, my food, etc.
I mean, they thought that i would be better if i didn’t tried.
but hell i need! they will not be here forever and i need to learn, i need to know these things, everyone does damnit.
the sad part, even worse, is that they don’t do it only with me. my sister is another example. she’s 23 now, and they still try to control her clothes, with who and when, the time, she goes out to have fun in the city.
it is completely annoying and wrong. she’s 23, she is suposed to know what she is doing, and if she doesn’t, she needs to learn, and the best way is trying and failing, making mistakes.
they didn’t allowed me to make them, and they don’t want her to make them too.
another thing that i can see, was a result of all that happened, is that i don’t have friends here, city i mean, and even online i have only a few. i don’t trust people, i can’t make myself to do it.
I don’t want to get hurt anymore, and my mind just don’t allow me to trust someone.
that’s why it surprises me that i found a girlfriend online, she’s from romania and she’s the reason why i’m writing it, she’s the reason that i have strength to do it.
and again, my parents are a problem.
i want to go and visit her. we want to meet, what my parents say? no, you can’t, too dangerous and you can’t go alone etc.
hell they even tried, without success to make me interested in another girl.
they want me here with them, they think that i will be safe.
safe, maybe. i can be safe in lots of places, but i will be happy? i answer, no, not if i continue with them.
Someone, please, help. Other blind teens learn how to live, how to make theyr food, they are allowed to have a phone, to get out of home, i cant. Someone, help me find a way, help me get out of this hell. I cant resist, not anymore. I understand that parents are supposed to help. Everyone tells me this. But no one understands how worse are mine.
Well, The story got worse. Now that he’s finally 18, they dont give him his money, his documments, Dont let him to get out of house. Even if he’s an adult, they still cut his beard, clean his room, cut the food for him and much more. My mother offered to pay a plane ticket for him to visit me, but they refused, saying that the world is too big and they need to protect him from every possible arm. I’m scared that my boyfriend will never be able to get out of there, they never let him to take care of himself. His aunt told that she would like to help but she cant, even if she told that he needs to get out. I have the conversation from a few days ago, I was talking to his father.
Me: You know, believing in K is very important. He is a capable
>> person, able to do many things, you just need to believe in him. And i
>> will tell you what a psicholog told my mother when i was born. /she is
>> a blind girl, yes,. But give her independence even if you are
>> scared. without it, she will be no one./ And my parents agreed.
>> Aurora, the psicholog was a good friend until my parents learned how
>> to deal with me. I believe that you did a good job regarding K’s
>> independence, but give him the chance to be even more free. I had a
>> hard job convincing my mother to let me to go in france when i was 11,
>> But afther a month, i managed. She was worried and scared? oh she was.
>> But she knew that it was my chance to learn to be even more
>> independent. I tell you all of this because damn, i know that you
>> don’t want to let him to come here. We are from different countries,
>> true, but in my opinion he as every right to come here, or to go
>> wherever he likes. Im not trying to teach you what to do, im just
>> telling you what i think
>>
>> (uh yeah. that part with you did a good job was mixed with sarcasm,
>> but honestly, I’m tired, exams around the place and instead of
>> learning im fighting for k’s freedom, I like it I want him free,
>> it just drains me and I end sleeping at 8PM…)
>>
>> He: Very good.
>>
>> me: What do you think?
>>
>> he: since the beginning i am thinking at this, but i see it more
>> calmly, with serenity. all of us have the right to come and go, but
>> always with the foot on the ground, without this character of urgence.
>> god is on command and will show us the way in the right time, years in
>> the future.
>>
>> Me: I get your point, but God gave us free will. And i believe he’s
>> giving Us a chance. If he wouldn’t want us to meet, he wouldn’t help
>> my mother to have the money for us. Honestly, no matter what K and
>> me could say doesn’t convince you, and im not talking about urgency
>> here. Im talking about chances. And love. My grandmother died, but
>> before she promised she’ll watch me. I believe in her and God. I
>> believe that God wants K and me to meet. I also know that you are
>> scared, but lets turn the situation around. Picture the following
>> please.
>> Imagine that you have the money for us to meet, and then My mother
>> telling me to tell you that if you have the money, you should come
>> here. Also, picture a very important exam, like, extremely important
>> exam for K around the corner. In this situation, of me having no
>> exam, and not having at the moment the money, honestly, i would
>> convince my parents to bring me there. And i know for sure that if my
>> exam wouldn’t exist, they would let me come there, even if they told
>> clearly that they will be worried sick. I always told them that
>> worrying brings no good. being positive is the way. I view everything
>> with realism. Answer this please. Ok, he’s not coming here, but when?
>> afther years? you honestly think that if we’ll not see each other for
>> 7 years we’ll resist? My father told yes. Well, ill tell you exactly
>> what i told him. Even if we would want, we wouldn’t be able. “Father,
>> try and picture this. You never saw mother, only heard her voice. And
>> you have the chance to see her. Would you wayt two more years if you
>> have the money, and just think at how would she look, or you’ll take
>> the chance?” Of course he agreed with me. He told that he can see my
>> point even if he doesn’t want to accept it, and he told that my life
>> is mine to live. Im being painfully honest here. I love K, And i
>> want to see him. Im not a terrorist, or other things, even if I’m sure
>> you tought that. Im a blind girl with two amazing parents. And im
>> theyr only child. Despite this and the danger, they would still let me
>> to see K.
>>
>>
>>
>> he: i know all that you wrote. and even in this situation,
>> there’s the hand of god. the next second, minute, the future is god’s.
>> everything happens in the right moment, everything, diana. this story
>> that you two are living is beautiful and you two are in the right way.
>> we’ll continue talking later.
>>
>> (that’s afther he woke.)
>>
>> me: but think at all i told, seriously. don’t leave everything in the
>> hands of god. He can take care of all of us, but it wouldn’t be fair
>> to let him do everything. If we want something we should fight for it.
>>
>>
>> me:You know, about your fear of letting K come here… Real
>> difficulties can be overcome. It’s the imaginary ones that are
>> unconquerable. You gain strength, experience and confidence by every
>> experience where you really stop to look fear in the face. our Time
>> isn’t endless. All we have to decide is what to do
>> with the time that is given to us
>> Don’t wait until everything is just right. It will never be
>> perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than
>> perfect conditions. So what? Get started now By giving chances, by
>> conquering fear, and by believing in the ones you love.
>>
>>
>> His father: Right. I know.
>> Me: well, then if you know, and i know, lets work with it not against
>> it. God gives us chances, but they’ll not exist forever. Please
>> understand a last thing and afther i write this ill stop bothering you
>> because ill sleep or something. I have the money, but i have them now.
>> They’ll not exist forever. The thing is that my family doesn’t like
>> that i wayt for K if there’s a chance for us to never meet because
>> of well, you not letting him. I mean they like us, actually love us,
>> but Theyre worried that in the way youre acting now, youll never let
>> him come here. And no one here wants me to end hurt. :)) And they know
>> me, i love K so ill not break up.
>>
>> he: everything has it’s time and hour to happen
>> place themselves in our place and in the place of the other family
>> members. everything that needs to happen will happen.
>> stay ok and focus on your plans. always believe.
>> o don’t forget to live every moment, and not only to talk about
>> meeting. calm, focus and have fait.
>>
>> (what else can I say? he always uses the god damn and the keep wayting
>> things whenever we talk. Please help If you can. Im not a big god
>> believer, but… sigh. Im so, so tired. it’s like theyre wayting for us to break up. Im in my last year of high school, and in my country I need to pass a very complex exam for me to show that yes I finished high school. My parents told that they have nothing against us meeting, they know that he doesn’t have the money to pay a plane ticket so they offered to help, but they told that I always was the one to keep this relationship going and that if he loves me, the least he can do is to visit. My exam stops me from visiting him. we have a year and almost 8 months together. help, please?