August 11, 2013 at 7:03 pm #40211EParticipant
Well I had been posting on this forum for a while and slowly began to reflect and meditate and ffocus on me so I sort of stopped writing…I began to respond to some of the questions that others were posting, and at the same time this helped me with the grieving process and letting go of my ex and past. I continued to converse with a fellow individual, Sapnap, thank you so much for your voice and kind words via email…I really thought I was getting along well and I was beginning to look at the brighter side of things and life. Thanks to Matt, John, and others responses to my threads i felt like I was now learning how to love myself, and in essence be stronger and wiser about my decisions…then bammmmmmm! My ex has chosen one day outta every week for the last three weeks to randomly txt me…the first week it was to ask if his new drivers license had arrived to my residence, then it was just a “k” as a txt the following week, and on fri he texted “hey, I don’t mean to bug you , I just wanted to say hi.” Also it was 7 am when he sent mssg….I guess I got fed up cuz I haven’t responded at all to his mssg and I decided to respond that the person he was trying to contact was no longer accepting mssg or texts from this number…was I wrong? Did I feed into his game? Should I have not done anything? Now I’m at home questioning everything again and I feel like I’m back to square one…Why would he now decide that he wants to say hi…it’s been six weeks since our break up and to be honest I just want to be left alone….I have begun talking to friends from hs, been going out and am trying to move on the best way I know how. Plse any advice?August 11, 2013 at 7:55 pm #40219CarrieParticipant
Gosh I don’t have much sage advice here… We girls tend to over think this sort of thing! I say don’t think about it anymore…move on and let go. It sounds like you made great progress with healing (I can’t wait to get where you are!) so focus on that progress and keep moving forward!!! I am cheering for you! xoAugust 11, 2013 at 8:07 pm #40221MattParticipant
Just a trigger. Your response was perhaps a bit snarky of a boundary setting, but still, you did set one. Perhaps next time you could be more clear. “Hi. I don’t like your texts anymore, I’m moving on.” Or whatever else comes to mind… the Buddhist “do no harm” comes to my heart in such circumstances. Perhaps the snarky tone caused some suffering? Aggression is great at generating self doubt in a loving heart.
Just keep breathing, it will pass. 🙂 You don’t sound anything like square one to me, maybe square six or seven.
MattAugust 11, 2013 at 8:10 pm #40222EParticipant