Home→Forums→Tough Times→Where do I go from here?
- This topic has 2 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 9 years, 12 months ago by mctmdream.
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December 12, 2014 at 3:48 am #69146AnonymousInactive
Hi.
I’m Stefan. I’m 24.I’ve been struggling with mental health problems since I was 15.
I blame it on the acne drug Accutane, but I’m bored of feeling powerless.
By blame, I just wanted to point out when this started.
I know life is harsh on a lot of people, but I can’t help feeling that I’ve drawn an unlucky card.I’m really lost right now.
I quit my job as a motor claims handler 2 weeks ago.
I was too depressed to do it anymore. I’d been there, full-time, since August 2013.
I’m the type who really thinks deep about everything – What is the meaning of life? What is my purpose? etc …
I’m creative and write music (www.soundcloud.com/stefan-lay) but I lack self-confidence and getting on stage isn’t going to happen.
If I tried, it’d go terribly and I can’t lie to myself and convince myself otherwise.
I also struggle from terrible brain-fog and fatigue pretty often and feel like I don’t have the same opportunities as others.I had a job interview this morning and really struggled.
I woke up feeling like poop and the interview was competency based, meaning it’s based on examples of situations (such as, ‘When did you thrive in a team?’). My memory recall isn’t the best and although I did my best to prepare for the interview, I blagged my way through it and my answers were not brilliant.
The interview was for a motor claims handler role, again.
I went for it because it’s part time and I need money. There’s no way I could do retail again. I’m far too socially awkward and nervous.But … it turned out the job was all based around injury claims and so I’d have to learn another thing I’d not care about learning. There would be a host of reasons why it’s worse than my last job too – Based in the city centre, meaning lots of traffic and time in my car. I’d either have to pay £5 parking all day or get the bus in and walk pretty far every day. I’d have to meet new people again. i can’t deal with it 🙁
To cut this short, what are depressed people supposed to do? How can they have a normal life?
I have to pay my Mum rent and have a car and life to pay for…
I feel like I’m not cut out for this life and I’m fed up of trying so hard to get things better. I’ve tried so hard.
How do I go on, trying to sort out a career, etc, when I barely have the will to live anymore?
Things aren’t better and I believe they can’t be now.
Stress finds me every day, and I’m burned out. No amount of sleep helps me to recover.I just wish I wasn’t a pussy and didn’t suffer from such bad anxiety.
I know I’ll never be happy while I’m working boring and uninspiring jobs but I don’t know what else to do now.
I feel I’m too old to do ANOTHER education course.
I feel I’m not talented enough to do music.
I can’t imagine ever NOT having anxiety and depression, so how can I do the things I want to?I know I have the potential somewhere, but this life and society are really wearing on me.
I feel so restricted and trapped by lack of options, and I just want a break from life.
I worry that I’m destined to kill myself, as there often seems no other way forward.Please help 🙁
December 12, 2014 at 10:21 am #69168SpideyParticipantStefan,
There is so much I can write down here, but I feel as if I can get through to you better via skype-conversation of some sorts. I don’t want to nit-pick this post apart, as I see there are a lot of things I can point out.
Add me on Skype, and if you don’t have Skype get it. My account is b.barker101
I want to help you overcome this battle.
My personal e-mail is brettwbarker@hotmail.com
Let me help you.
December 12, 2014 at 12:12 pm #69173mctmdreamParticipantHi there,
I don’t have much to say to you to make you feel better since I deal with the same issues.
I’m 33 and I have dealt with depression my whole life. It comes and goes but it never completely leaves…
Lately it has been worse since I decided to get off antidepressants cause they just made me more sleepy, foggy and tired all the time; plus they also caused some other physical side effects.I ask myself that question all the time…how am I supposed to live like other people live when I’m not like other people…???
If there is anything I can give you is the knowledge that you are NOT alone on this…and even though we don’t know eachother, and we don’t know so many others in the same situation, if there is more than one of us out there, then there MUST be a way to live…
Best of wishes
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