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Who should i choose, ex or new girlfriend

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  • #148501
    jimmy
    Participant

    I just broke up with my ex more than two months ago because she doesn’t take note on what am I talking to her and she didn’t comfort me when I was stressed or depressed. Every time she was the one who initiated to break up with we when we have quarrels. We had been dating for 3 years and we argued very often although it was just some tiny problems.Finally, I made that decision to broke up with her.Recently, I get to know my new colleage and she do have feelings towards me and so as I. We have lunch together, we text each other often and everyone when we meet  we do flirt around . So the problem is the new girl starts to offer me to for a movie.Here starts the problem, the thing is my ex started to text me few days(we didn’t text since I broke up with her) and my ex says that she still loves me and she can’t live without me. Maybe because I just broke up with my ex so I think I still have feelings towards her, but at the same time I also have feelings towards the new girl. So my problem is I’m not sure whether which girl should I choose for a better life. I’ve been deciding it for a week and this really drives me crazy, can anyone please help me. I’m getting frustrated and I can’t focus on my career… Can someone give me some advice… 🙁 (forgive me for my poor English really hope that someone can help me…)

    #148511
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear jimmy:

    You stated: “my problem is I’m not sure whether which girl should I choose for a better life. ”

    My advice: do not choose the ex because the frequent quarrels you had do not make for a good life. What you are interested in is a “better life”. A better life is one of peace, not fighting, not aggression. Because of your history with your ex is filled with quarrels (aggression), better not chose more of that.

    If the new woman in your life is not quarrelsome, do choose her. That will make a better life.

    anita

    #148525
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi jimmy,

    You do not have to choose anyone. If you are unsure you can truthfully tell them: “I don’t want to date exclusively now”. I figure the more time you spend with both girls, the more you will have clarity on what it is (or who!) you truly want.

    Or, date neither and find someone (not a colleague) who has the qualities you’re looking for.

    Good Luck!

    Inky

    #148601
    jimmy
    Participant

    Thanks for the replies guys. But my ex truly regret on what she had done and now she is begging me to go back by her side. The point is I’m very confused on which girl should I choose for a better life in future, both girls are now treating me well, and I wanted to go for the new girl but there’s really something that is pulling me from that new girl. So I am totally no idea whether my decision is the best for my future life for choosing the new girl…

    #148693
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear jimmy:

    My suggestion, to solve your confusion, is to make a short list for yourself, writing what you need and want in a relationship. What kind of a woman will be right for you. Next, “interview” both women, the ex, and the new woman in your life. Over coffee, let’s say, in a coffee house, in a quiet enough setting, ask both (at different times) questions and listen to their answers. When you are back home, type their answers and compare those to your list. This way, over a week maybe, you will have enough information to evaluate and reach the answer to your question (the title of your thread).

    anita

    #148697
    jimmy
    Participant

    You have a kind of solution then, is one of the way that can solve my confusion. Thanks for the advice anita.

    #148703
    Anonymous
    Guest

    You are welcome, jimmy. I hope you post again.

    anita

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