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Why did my ex who has a gf friend request me?

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Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
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  • July 24, 2017 at 10:11 pm #159972
    dreaming715
    Participant

    I dated someone almost 2 years ago for about 8 months. I liked this person a lot, but they didn’t feel the same way. At the end of our relationship he admitted that I may have liked him more than he liked me. I was hurt and felt like he had strung me along for awhile (seeing each other only when it was convenient for him, not following through with promises, etc…).

    It’s been over a year since we talked and I’m in a happy, new relationship now.

    Today my ex friend requested me on Facebook… and he has a girlfriend? Listed as “in a relationship” as of yesterday and she’s in his profile picture.

    Why would someone who never gave a crap about me, broke-up with me, hasn’t talked to me in over a year, and has a girlfriend that he has made public to the world waste his time searching for me on Facebook and then friend requesting me?

    I don’t understand the motive behind this and am confused and wondering why?

    July 25, 2017 at 5:15 am #160004
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear dreaming715:

    A couple of guesses as to why he requested you on Facebook, as a friend, I understand (I don’t do Facebook):

    1. Maybe he is collecting Friends, and needs one more to complete the perfect number of friends.

    2. Maybe he remembers how much you liked him, and he needs a bit more liking in his life, right now. Maybe he wants to be pursued, chased after (“he admitted that I may have liked him more than he liked me”)

    anita

     

    July 25, 2017 at 5:54 am #160018
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi dreaming 715,

    Here are a few other possibilities:

    3. He feels guilty in how he treated you. By Friend Requesting you he is sending a white rose/flag, and by Accepting, he will feel you two are now “square”.

    4. He wants you to know that he has a GF to stir up some jealousy (a close cousin to reason #2, above).

    5. He wants to have one foot into your life in case this new relationship doesn’t work out.

    I say keep that Friend Request hanging in your inbox! It’ll drive him crazy!

    Best,

    Inky

    July 25, 2017 at 6:21 am #160022
    Eliana
    Participant

    Hi Dreaming715,

    I had this happen to me to when I was on Facebook. I since deleted my profile, as I have never liked Social media. But my first love from 35 years ago friend requested me! I accepted his friend request. I guess he was just showing off his lifestyle to me. When I met him, he did not have alot of money (we were only 19). I told him no matter what, I would always be proud of him, I didn’t care about money, just him.

    He was always envious though because I came from a well-to-do family. When we were dating, I was living in a condo on the beach, near my Dad, who lived in a Penthouse on the beach and with his long-time girlfriend. He was always in the “society pages” he was CEO of a huge Paper company, had a beautiful car, his best friends collected rolls royces, we went to the finest restaurants. He did not like that.

    So he friended me, I think to show me that he had gone far in life. He had a nice suit on, with several other men in the picture, also wearing nice white suits, he was holding a baby which I assumed was his grandchild. He knew I never had children. He also posted picture of a jaguar and other nice cars and a beautiful house. He knows I no longer have the condo, or live the life I once lived. When he “friended” me, he didn’t say a word to me. I waited several days and nothing, not even a “”hi”. So I unfriended him with a curt message of “I hope you found what you were looking for”. So, I am baffled and there could be so many reasons are ex’s friend us. I ended up blocking him.

    July 25, 2017 at 12:42 pm #160152
    dreaming715
    Participant

    You guys have some great input!!! Seriously, I think you all narrowed it down to the most likely scenarios. Having known him, I think the friend request may have been a combination of these top 3:

    1) “Maybe he remembers how much you liked him, and he needs a bit more liking in his life, right now. Maybe he wants to be pursued, chased after (‘he admitted that I may have liked him more than he liked me’).”

    2) He wants you to know that he has a GF to stir up some jealousy.

    3) He wants to have one foot into your life in case this new relationship doesn’t work out.

    And Eliana: It is SO confusing and I can relate to your story. I did accept his friend request and then waited because I was curious if he was going to send me a message. If he wanted to “extend a white rose/flag” so to speak, I feel he would send a friendly message of, “Just wanted to say hello and I hope all is well with you!” But that message never came. The timing of his friend request in conjunction with his recently changed relationship status is a red flag to me. Within 24 hours of changing his relationship status to “in a relationship with *insert girl’s name here” and changing his profile picture to a nice shot of them- he decided to friend request me. Very strange.

    I actually did end up unfriending and blocking him. In reality, I recognize that he is not my “friend.” When things ended between us I told him there were several things he did that hurt me. One example: We had made plans to go to a restaurant one night. He cancelled a couple of hours before our date saying his co-worker invited him to a cook-out. He did not invite me along to the cook-out. Something else more exciting came up and he simply blew-off our plans. He never did properly apologize or try to rectify the situation.

    I’m happy in my current relationship and it makes me feel better knowing this individual is blocked and cannot re-enter my life anymore via social media.

    July 26, 2017 at 11:59 am #160350
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear dreaming715:

    He sent you a friend request and when you accepted he did not respond. This is congruent with the other un-friendly behaviors you listed at the end of your last post.

    Always a pleasure reading from you.

    anita

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