Hello. I need some advice regarding my relationship.

So I have been in a long distance relationship for about 4 months now. We’ve known each other far longer than that and we established a good friendship before all this. Theres a bit of a history between us. We met about 3 years ago or so through a mutual friend. That mutual friend was his girlfriend and at the time there was nothing going on between us it was purely platonic. Fast forward to when they broke up, me and him still kept in contact and with time we developed feelings for each other but decided to not do anything because it wasnt the best decision to date given the circumstances. After a few months of us talking and having this “thing” he suddenly stopped talking to me. It was subtle at first and then it turned into us not talking for a whole week. (which was weird for us) He then told me he had gotten back together with his previous girlfriend, which absolutely crushed and enraged me and we had a huge fight regarding that. After that that we stopped talking and eventually i fell out with his girlfriend too. Fast forward to last year. I had completely forgotten about him. Like absolutely forgotten and was dating a guy at the time. He messaged me on facebook and i was stunned to hear from him. After all this time he had the audacity to talk to me and especially after what he did? I was shocked. I decided to respond and we got into a conversation which started with him owning up to what he did and apologizing to me and explaining things. He then explained everything that had happened to him. His girlfriend had cheated on him for several months and he had been in an emotionally abusive and manipulative relationship with her which eventually lead him to feel depressed. I felt pretty bad for him but didn’t plan on becoming friends with him after what he had done to me. We talked for a bit and he asked if he could be my friend but i declined. After a few days he contacted me again and told me he was in a really bad place and needed a friend. I kind of thought that was weird bc i already had told him that i didnt want to but i went with it bc i felt bad for him. Anyways fast forward to a few months later we had basically built a friendship together and had discussed what he did to me a few times and got all the cards in the table. Basically i told him how horrible it felt how enraged and sad it made me feel and he told me that he knows he fucked up and would always feel guilty for hurting me in that way and comforted me. So after all of this happened a few months later we got into a relationship (i had been single since the summer of last year) and its been going good so far but lately i’ve been feeling insanely insecure. Its not so much what hes doing because hes really good to me, hes nice, loving, affectionate, listens to my problems etc and vice versa but bc of the fact that we are long distance it feels like hes been unavailable lately and we haven’t had many meaningful conversations. I’ve been also feeling insecure because of what happened, of how he hurt me and keep thinking that i was his second choice. Whenever i think about him and his ex it makes me feel furious and i still hold anger towards him for that. I don’t know how i can let that go because he’s proven himself loyal to me. I also feel like he doesn’t tell me about his emotional well being a lot, and in general doesn’t tell me as much as id like him to. It’s like theres this mystery still around us and from my part too. I’m thinking that he might not be as emotionally available as i thought but i’m not either so thats not the best combination. I know this relationship is pretty new and we have a lot of things to explore and tell each other but damn I’ve been feeling crazy lately. I might’ve gotten too attached to him. I just want to be as close to him as i possibly can and I’ve turned into this insecure mess and its weird and scary. I honestly do have a lot of insecurities and need reassurance (which he does provide me with) but lately i haven’t been feeling super close to him and im confused as hell.

I need some advice for what to do because we’ve already talked about the fact that i was feeling a bit neglected from him bc we haven’t had time to talk on the phone or we haven’t been very affectionate lately and that has improved but since hes busy a lot during the day (cause of his job) and i don’t have time during the afternoon its been kinda shitty. I feel like there’s something missing.

Thanks to anyone that reads this, advice is greatly appreciated.