Home→Forums→Emotional Mastery→Will I be lucky again??
- This topic has 6 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 10 years, 11 months ago by chil.
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November 19, 2013 at 10:00 am #45491vaishaligParticipant
I am a 35 year old Indian woman with an 8 year old son.I believed my husband loved me unconditionally and this relationship was meant to be forever until one day when my husband returned from his eight month long official trip to canada……A week after he returned , he told me that he does not feel the connect with me ……has never felt it in 8 years of our marriage(but never dropped a hint about it)…and this realization came when he fell in love with a woman in canada….his co-worker…….He told me that he had moved on ……I was shattered…..struggled…..miserable…..tried to convince him to put efforts in the marriage and try to make it work……but it was of no use…..
Now that I feel he does not have any inclination to make it work…. i also am trying to move on……it is very difficult…….feel very low on self esteem…..cry very often alone in the night……feel lonesome……feel that need to be loved by someone…….I just feel I wont be able to experience love again…..I want to make a lot of friends…..join some sensible online communities which might give me an opportunity to interact with more and more likeminded people……I have lost faith in love and the idea of commitment and marriage……will I ever find someone who will help me restore this faith……..November 19, 2013 at 10:50 am #45494Anders HasselstrømParticipantDear Vaishalig,
You deserve happiness and you will experience happiness again. Never stop believing that! I know it can be difficult to believe in your current situation but at some point you will bounce back up.
I surely understand it can be devastating that your soulmate and partner leaves you. You have shared the best moments of your lives and also have a son together. Quoting the “Lion King”: The past can hurt – But as I see it you can either run from it or learn from it.
You have the best opportunity to shape your life at the moment. Who do you want to be? What dreams do you want to pursue? What kind of man deserves your love? Go out and find the friends you are looking for, join the online communities that makes you smile and soon you will find yourself in a new routines with new inspiring people.
Be strong and keep on being strong Vaishalig. Healing takes time but eventually you will be stronger than ever before. Never doubt that!
Best,
Anders HasselstrømNovember 19, 2013 at 12:47 pm #45498Chris EllisParticipantHi Vaishalig,
I see that Anders has responded to your question and I agree with everything he says.
When I was 21, the same thing happened to me except that I found out that my husband had been cheating all along and I never knew. I was very young and very idealistic. I could not believe that such a huge betrayal could happen to me.
I too cried all the time. It was the hardest thing I had ever experienced and believe it or not, I was surprised when I woke up in the morning and found I had not died of a broken heart. I know it sounds dramatic but it was very real to me at the time. It was also very confusing.
I will tell you the one thing that got me through this very, very bad point in life and that was talking to people who had been through something similar and had somehow managed to come out the other side and find happiness with someone who really cared about them.
For me, it was good that it happened when it did. I was young (so are you!) and I knew that what I had thought was the perfect marriage was something that I had created in my mind and it wasn’t real. Sooner or later it would end this way and it was better to face it now and deal with it than to put it off until later.
Since the wonderful ladies that I met who had been through it were there for me, I will be here for you.
Believe me when I tell you that you are very much stronger than you feel you are right now. I promise you that. The very fact that this is causing you so much pain tells me that you are a person who feels things deeply and therefore is capable of great love and commitment. You deserve someone who is also capable of that too. You will find it.
I did go on to get married again. It was 10 years later but when I found the right man, I knew it was right. We have been married for 25 years now and will be together until the end of our lives. This is what you deserve and this is what you can create. Put It out to the universe that you want a really good man and you will find one. But first take your time and heal. The one thing about going through really tough times is that we start to see how powerful and strong we really are.
You will get through it and you will be happy again.
Good luck!
XO ChrisNovember 20, 2013 at 8:56 am #45518vaishaligParticipantDear Anders,
Thanks for devoting your precious time and valuable insight…..in times such as these , when one is going through the process of healing and getting a grip over the whole situations, there seems to be a lot of confusion….there are days when one feels as strong as a rock and then there are days when one feels all alone, lonely…carrying the burden of responsibilities all alone…no one is around to hold your hand and tug you along……there are highs and there are lows…..
Whatever has happened has led me to the fact that the strongest bond in this world is only of a true friendship……it is your friends who feel what you feel….cry with you….be there when your most trusted companion leaves you…… today i feel blessed to have such friends and family members who have stood by me, have told me whatever i decide to do about my life,they would always be there…..it is from them i derive my strength……
I wish to have many more such genuine friends who make this world a beautiful place to live in….
Thanks for writing…
God bless 🙂
VaishaligNovember 20, 2013 at 9:04 am #45519vaishaligParticipantDear Chris,
Thank you so much for sharing your experience with me…..thanks for being there for me…..It really gives you strength to face and sail through difficult times….
I feel happy for you that you got to experience real love and are living happily…
I am also on the road to recovery….keep myself occupied….and try to have happy thoughts about life….
Appreciate your efforts to write to me and offer your wisdom to strengthen me..
May God give you good health and peace… 🙂
vaishaligNovember 20, 2013 at 9:43 am #45522Chris EllisParticipantHi Vaishalig!
I am so glad to hear that you are on the road to recovery! That is so good to hear! You are welcome. I wish you good health, peace and happiness too!
XO ChrisNovember 21, 2013 at 1:54 am #45575chilParticipantHi Vaishalig,
Everything in nature carries a balance……. so when you feel sad very very sad , then will be a day you feel very much happy………
there will be lot of struggle always around not just for you for everyone … then it means you are not alone…. we are all together. .
I definitely can feel what it is to lose someone whom we lived with but you know time can heal ……
bitterness will go away bit by bit….. keep seeing your thoughts as they are let them pass n pass…. all this takes due course of time ….but eventually you will come out stronger.
Healing takes time but will happen for sure……
Have a look at your 8 years old star whenever you feel like having warmth…..
you surely will get the blessing in disguise……………………..
chil -
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