Dear Alia:

You want to keep your job the, that is your goal, correct?

Prepare for that conversation with your manager, you can prepare for it by writing different scenarios of what he might say to you and prepare your response. This may help you during the real conversation, so you don’t freeze or say something impulsively, without thinking.

Do you know why your job duties are not what you were hired to do? If in the beginning they were and then changed, maybe the business needs changed, a new customer or supplier. Maybe an employee who performed the duties you are now doing quit, and so the duties fell on you. Anything like that?

anita

Dear Alia:

You wrote: “My ego was too big”- I would like to understand, therefore I ask: how did your ego express itself as too big at work and otherwise?

anita

Dear Alia:

So you did have the conversation with the manager and you were let go, no longer having the job, my goodness, this is sad news to you, isn’t it? I don’t understand what happened, you were doing the job of four positions you wrote, had a glowing review a couple of weeks ago, but then there was some ego issues I didn’t understand, a setting boundaries difficulty.

You wrote earlier, “I don’t want to be worthless or useless but that is exactly what I am”- I feel sad reading this. Will you tell me more about what you mean by this sentence?

anita

Dear Alia:

You shared very little about yourself. All I know is that you are in your early forties, have a family to support (married with children perhaps, I don’t know), live in a small town with little work opportunities, moving is not an option, commuting is cost ineffective.

You believe that you are “worthless and useless”, at least in the area of work, and you suffer from “work anxiety and fear” as a result. I am not clear about the ego thing, if what you meant is that you behaved at work as too confident, sort of went to an extreme from the worthless belief to display the opposite?

What I do know is that I shared your belief myself, that I was worthless and useless most of my life. It is only recently, while still in what I refer to as my process of healing, that this core belief has been changing. Before I was much more anxious than I am now because I felt that I didn’t know what to do in this or that situation, that I didn’t know the right thing to do, how to respond to people, how to protect myself or even know when I was supposed to protect myself. I didn’t have me to count on, to trust. So I was anxious. Can you relate?

anita

Im so sorry for my typing errors.  Luckily. i am not employed to type and just messaging from my phone.

I should have typed that I had to drive 92kms each way for a one hour shift at $22 per hour and received no reimbursements for petrol or wear on my car. Cost me more for petrol than I earned.  I rang them about it before the day of the shift.  I spoke to an office worker who manager has since said I was rude to but know I wasnt.  He said she says that about everyone including him,  but he still “confronted” me about it.  Nevertheless,  I sent an apology to her,  but this has not been acknowledged. There are a few things like this of unsubstantiated accusations.  I feel deeply hurt as I was commited to work and my clients,  and always tried to do a good job.

• This reply was modified 5 years, 6 months ago by HoneyBlossom.