Hi everyone!

I am super stressed and confused on what to do. I have meditated, listened to my heart, wrote down lists, flipped coins and still I am all over the place.

Short recap- I am a 5th year teacher. I have switched schools 4 times. I started my career not knowing if I wanted middle or high school. I took a middle school job then moved to the high school after in hope that it would help me when I moved back to my hometown to get my dream job. I moved home and tried for high school. I had to take a lower paid job to get into the system I wanted then finally I got what I thought was my dream job! I was so excited and to make it even better I got engaged to the man of my dreams.

I met the best friends at this job, they even attended my wedding! However quickly the job started to fall short. Without getting into too many details – my administration became very hard to deal with. I learned they hadn’t been able to keep someone in my position for more than two years. Part of my job was to attend district meetings to report on our English learners. Unfortunately we were not doing many things correct so when I relaid that information it was not received by my admin well and I was blamed. I tried to show flexibility but anything I did was wrong. I even had co teachers who I worked with and they would go to admin saying their curriculum and demands weren’t helpful to the students and they constantly blamed me. Due to the high turn over rate in our department and other issues they fired everyone who was hired with me except for me.

Instead I was told I was not welcomed back next year but due to my degrees and status they couldn’t fire me. This was the year from crazy town- they micromanaged everything my department did and quickly we learned why people don’t stay. It also didn’t help that there was endless drama- one person saying one thing then the other admin saying another.

I was crushed but knew from working with the staff that it wasn’t me and I was one of many targets this year.

Unfortunately I wasn’t able to find another full time position. I got married and had a month long honeymoon and nothing surfaced.

I teach in a rough district but at a good school and I was optimistic.

Here is the dilemma- I got offered a part time decision which would cut my salary in half. It is at my dream school but not teaching anything I am super passionate about. After days of trying to make it work financially my husband and I decided I should turn it down.

My husband and I are both teachers and just bought a home and love to travel and I wasn’t willing to sacrifice our life style for part time and instability.

However quickly I was reminded about the insecurity and instability of my old job. The drama has already started and I have become terrified to go back.

I have no idea if I made the right choice.

On one end, the full time I secure my spot for tenure and full pension and a stable pay and freedom. But I also might be in a terrible situation and now put myself at more risk. My admin is still the same and clearly have no problem ruining other careers like they did to my colleagues.

But taking part time is a financial risk and I am unsure of my personal fulfillment satisfaction with moving to part time teaching. I love teaching. But I also don’t know if the money outweighs constant craziness and rude comments from my administration who want me gone.

Help!