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“You are enough” – Or am I really?

HomeForumsEmotional Mastery“You are enough” – Or am I really?

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  • #428851
    Danny
    Participant

    In almost every self help book I have read, the authors have encouraged people to believe They are enough.

    While I appreciate that sentiment, is this a correct mindset to embrace?

    Are you putting a ceiling on your development? If you are enough now, why would you look to grow more?

    Could you not actually be more (An ever improving person on this journey called life?)

    • If I am a bad father, am I enough? Or can I not aim to improve as a father? Similarly, if I am a bad husband, should I not look to grow and evolve?
    #428856
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Danny:

    I think that the purpose behind the message You Are Enough in self-help books is to create a calm, positive mindset in the reader (if only for a moment), so that the reader will be motivated to improve what he/ she needs to improve.

    The alternative message You Are Not Enough, when repeated many times by a parent becomes You Will Never Be Good Enough, and this message demotivates a person to improve, the person gives up.

    If I am a bad father, am I enough? Or can I not aim to improve as a father? Similarly, if I am a bad husband, should I not look to grow and evolve?“- if you are a bad father/ husband/ friend/ neighbor/ employee/ etc., you are not enough and you should improve. But notice: it is I who is saying that another person should improve. How do I motivate another person to want to improve?

    By pointing to the part of them that is good-enough so that the person has a good-enough basis to grow and evolve from. I had to find that basis within myself, without which I wouldn’t have been able to grow and evolve in the ways that I have.

    anita

    #428858
    Roberta
    Participant

    A quote by Shunryu Suzuki……Each of you is perfect the way you are …and you can use a little improvement

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