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12 Tips to Create a Peaceful, Passionate Life

“Get out of your head and get into your heart. Think less, feel more.” ~Osho

Osho’s game was to get people out of their heads. He wasn’t focused on world peace; he was intent on self-peace.

How do you get out of your head? How do you get more present?

For most of my life, I was stuck in my head. “Stuckness” was my primary experience. I always wanted to be somewhere else, someone else.

After years of quietly suffering and pretending to be happy, I came to understand that my stuckness was caused by numbness—physical, emotional, and spiritual.

Physically: I have been “out of my body” for 99.999% of my life—unless you’re talking about the heaviness on my chest, lump in my throat, and raciness in my head. I was constantly experiencing back pains and a general heaviness in my body.

Also, I felt inadequate and insecure in most of my intimate relationships.

Emotionally: I never felt good enough to speak my truths and share how I really felt. I blamed myself for feeling inadequate. The constant “trying to be someone” caused me to keep up multiple appearances and maintain many public versions of myself.

Spirituality: Because of all the lying, I didn’t trust myself. I felt like I betrayed myself and I felt guilty, thinking, I really am not good enough. When I was a child, in Israel, I was afraid of being punished by God. Later, in America, I was afraid of being punished by society. I wanted your approval so badly.

One day, I ran away.

I felt so scared and lost. I told my business partner that I would be back after the weekend, and my girlfriend that I was going to go set us up. I just wanted to get healthy and experience some peace in my life.

It wasn’t overnight, but eventually I stopped looking for myself. I found it by sitting in stillness and connecting with my feelings.

I paid attention to the patterns around when I disappeared from the present moment and more importantly, what would bring me back. I learned to cultivate presence, compassion, and courage—enough to eventually return and format my life around what I love: sharing presence.

Here are 12 reminders and suggestions that can help you get out of your head and cultivate passion and presence:

1. Remember that your thoughts and feelings are powerful.

Everything in your life is a response to your feelings. How you feel about yourself is how you shape your reality.

2. Stop trying to be somebody and start opening up.

Stop looking so desperately for answers and drop your need to know everything. Give yourself permission to explore and uncover what’s fun for you and what you really love. Stop mimicking other people and pretending to please them, and start opening yourself up to find what you love.

3. Create something new.

Most people are scared of trying and failing because we are told we are supposed to fit in to existing stories created for power and control. Use your imagination to create something new that excites you.

4.  Be a model of truth and great possibilities.

Make it your mission to be a model of positive, fun, loving possibilities. The shortest way to get there is to express your deepest truths. When you serve as a model for speaking your truth, you let others know it’s okay for them to do the same.

5. Encounter your deeper story.

Everyone has a deeper story, something that they fantasize about doing if they could. What’s your deeper story? What do yearn and long for? Hint: You already know what it is; you just lack the courage to acknowledge it because you don’t think you’re good enough.

6. Experience your longing.

It’s a big leap to go from dreaming to realizing. Take a step to act out your longing and experience its unfolding. If you let them, your feelings will lead the way.

7. Recognize when and how you disappear from the present moment.

Know your insecurities and pay attention to your triggers so you can bring yourself back to the present before hurting someone else. It’s your job to maintain your positive space.

8. Know what brings you back.

What engenders a feeling of belonging and connection in your life? What stops the obsessive thought looping? Build reference points. That’s how you can always find your way back home.

9. Recognize that freedom is knowing what you love and letting it embrace you.

You already know enough. Stop looking for guidance and start formatting your life around experiencing what you love. Seek the experience and it will find you.

10. Remember that your gift is how you handle your insecurities.

When you do what you love, you’ll act on instinct, without having to put too much thought into the knowledge you don’t yet have. But that thing you love to do—that’s not your only gift. Your other gift is how you handle your insecurities and feelings of inadequacy, when you do get caught up in your head. This is what shapes your life and sense of belonging.

11. Take intentional actions.

When you set intentions and act on them, you create a natural flow. Directing that flow is how you shape your reality.

12. Consistently ask yourself: What is my relationship?

Everything is relationship to everything else. What is your relationship to yourself? You reality emanates from how you feel about yourself.

Photo by mantas j photography

Avatar of Oriya Pollak

About Oriya Pollak

Oriya serves as a spiritual resource. He helps bring people back to their hearts and format their lives around what they love. His work as a guide and teacher in community gatherings and private sessions revolves around self-care and presence. Oriya lives in NYC with his partner and son. Visit him at beingwhatis.com and on Facebook.

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  • Tra

    This was beautiful and so very insightful – I felt peaceful even reading it. Thank you! xo

  • https://plus.google.com/112767041460502214504 Greg Miernicki

    This blog has a long history of amazing posts, but I would have to say that this one stands out from most of the rest for me because in simply reading it, I feel more empowered and in control of my life. I can relate because I have a long history too of feeling like I’m simply drifting through life out of control and with nothing to grasp onto ~ lost in deep space. From what I’v read here, I think I know what I need to do going forward to begin gravitating towards a solar system that I would like to inhabit, creating it for my existence, and ultimately giving me a ground that I can walk on and people that I can hold onto.

    Thank you!

  • http://www.facebook.com/oriya Oriya Pollak

    Oh wow what a great share. I am elated to read this… and yes, it does happen – you can create a world that revoles around what you love. I am glad you are expanding your range of possibilities! Enjoy your journey home. Feel free to keep in touch. :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/oriya Oriya Pollak

    A comment like yours is the reason for me to write. I don’t enjoy the writing as much as the sharing, but what I really intent on is sharing an experience of peace that can be felt and cultivated… so thank you for your response – It really is making a huge impact on me and my unfolding…

  • Julien

    Beautiful post, thank you for sharing. Do you have any advice for those of us who don’t quite know what it is we love? I know who I love and things I enjoy doing a lot but I don’t feel I have discovered a strong passion for anything that I am aware of yet. Did you actively search or it just finds its way to you?

  • http://www.facebook.com/oriya Oriya Pollak

    Hi Julien,

    It took me about 3 years to go from being completely lost and desperate for something to be passionate about… to remembering what I love and cultivate enough courage to start expressing myself fully….

    My advice: give yourself room to JUST BE.

    I invite you to take on a new definition of freedom: freedom is your ability to express yourself fully and format your life around what you love.

    The journey to this sort of freedom begins when you stop searching for something external to fit into, and you begin to allow your love to nourish you.

    I too had too lived in the wrong definition of freedom: the ability to do whatever you want. “finding my passion” and “doing what I love” was a guilt-driven self-help goal and a spiritual fantasy of sorts.

    I was searching for 30 years, but I was searching in the wrong place in the wrong way. I was looking outside of me by trying to fit in.

    I found my passion once I stopped looking and gave myself space to remember. Yes, it was a process of remembering and then cultivating courage to start expressing myself fully.

    We are unique flowers in this garden of life. Just like flowers, we need nourishment and space. We need room to grow. My advice to you now is to give yourself space.

    We didn’t really have a chance to “know what we love”… because we were told that by default we aren’t good enough. We were told we are supposed to fit in to the story that it is OUTSIDE of us. We needed to learn, to prefect and to idealize external power. We didn’t have the room to JUST BE.

    I first took on the challenge of NOT LOOKING, and not doing anything new for a period of time… spent many hours by myself, observing my thoughts, following patterns my imagination and emotions….

    You know you love. You year for more. Living your passion and doing what you love doesn’t have to be such a dramatic hero’s journey. It is a much simpler and gentler process than you think. It’s a different reality from the one you see possible right now.

    My advice for you is to pay attention to your breathing and cultivate a sense of inner peace first. Have compassion on yourself for the times the search hasn’t been gentle and know that you’re a delicate flower but you also have everything you need to flourish.

    Take the scenic route. Make a list of the things and people that you love. What do you really enjoy doing? Why? With who? There are so many NEW possibilities that you can create. Let your imagination lead you to create structures and environments where your value is sharing your presene and expressing yourself.

    It’s where the world is heading… lead the way!

  • Flower

    Oryia, this is a stunning piece…thank you for this empowerment ;) lots of love to you…

  • http://www.facebook.com/oriya Oriya Pollak

    Oh wow thank you. This article is a new experience for me, your feedback and love is very empowering.

  • Polly

    When I read this article, my eyes just filled up with tears. I was just like that for years! What a torment physically, emotionally and spiritually. Right now, I am still struggling but I must say your article hit the right spot in me. Thank you for this great article. It is time I make peace with myself too.

  • Nicole

    Hi I Oriya your tips on how to live a peaceful, passionate life are great! If you don’t mind me asking but how do you find peace with yourself when your drifting through a reality that you don’t fit into? Don’t feel like you have to answer that if you don’t want to :)

  • http://www.yepiclip.com/ yepi

    Peace and passion for life is what we need. Really impressive article, I really like this site and the information contained herein. Thank you for sharing what.

  • Paul in Canada

    I couldn’t agree more. This is, in such a simple way, one of the most powerful articles ever!