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7 Things to Remember When People Don’t Support You

“I care not what others think of what I do, but I care very much about what I think of what I do! That is character!” ~Theodore Roosevelt

I’m currently doing the whole “quit my job to pursue a dream” thing. I left the security and stability of having a salary along with a supposed career.

Back then, I didn’t really know what I was doing. I had no experience in blogging, plus I didn’t exactly have the confidence to market and start running a business.

Sounds crazy, right?

You can imagine the reaction I got from my friends and family. The support was next to nothing, and people generally never understood what I was doing—what I was trying to do.

Does this sound familiar?

You may not have done something huge, like make a career shift, but perhaps you’ve offered a different opinion, and everyone just disagreed.

You would have expected more from your loved ones. I know how disheartening that can be.

You expect support and encouragement from people you consider close to you only to be completely rejected, criticized, or worse, laughed at.

It can be really hard to swallow all the “noise” around you.

I was taken by surprise by some of the things I heard from friends; some of the comments were particularly hurtful.

I think it boils down to learning how to not care so much about what others think, and also, conversely, understanding what goes on in their minds.

I’ve come up with a little guide of reminders that I hope can help you keep going if you feel alone.

1. Your passion is a priority.

A lot of people go through the motions in life, not doing what they love. They end up constantly looking back, asking themselves, “What if?”

Whether people support you or not, do you really want to look back in regret one day down the line? To not know what could have happened if you tried to do what you really wanted to do?

This love of yours is one of the most important things in your life. Follow your heart, and not the words of others just to live up to their expectations.

2. Life is short.

It may be a little disheartening to have people around you discourage you, but remember, life is short.

Do you really want to spend your time feeling down over others’ words when they’re completely unwarranted, baseless, and probably not making any kind of sense?

Do you really want to pull back on following your dream or doing what you want because of others, and start living a life that probably doesn’t fulfill your potential?

Remember that life is short, and it will be easier to stick to your own convictions when other people disagree with your choices or put you down.

3. Others may not fully understand.

People who don’t support you and discourage you may not actually be bad people who intentionally want to destroy your dreams.

Sometimes, they just don’t understand why you do what you do, so they voice out their concerns, which may make them seem dissenting.

I personally try not to take it to heart when people discourage me. I see it as they need a little education and explanation. Or sometimes, I just ignore them.

If anything, since they don’t fully understand, I don’t see why it’s something to be upset over.

4. Sometimes others are insecure.

Sometimes when people don’t support what you’re doing, it may be more about them than you.

It could be plain ignorance or even jealousy, but some people tend to attack things that are new to them.

So again, don’t take their words to heart. If their criticism isn’t constructive in any way, they may be discouraging you because of their own fears and insecurities.

5. Remember anything is possible.

Nobody can predict the future for certain.

The people who don’t support you might paint a gloomy picture of what’s to come if you do what you want to do.

You don’t know the future either, but do you want to listen to others instead of believing in yourself?

Don’t let objections from others become your truth and limit you from creating what you want in life.

Anything is possible if you believe in yourself and work hard.

6. You can do this without their support.

It’s natural to want support and encouragement from the people around you, but it is possible to do what you want to do without it.

Just think of how many successful, inspiring people took the road less traveled.

You’re a very powerful being, just by yourself. Believe in that, don’t give up, and you’ll go a long way, whichever road you take.

7. You can’t please everyone in life.

You can’t. It’s impossible. And a lot of people forget that.

If you try to please everyone, it’s going to be next to impossible. So don’t bother. Keep your focus on what you want to do and why.

In an ideal world, would we could constantly surround ourselves with positivity. We can’t do that, but we can work on ourselves so that we stay committed and positive.

Are you surrounded by naysayers? How have you dealt with this?

 Photo by Seattleye

Profile photo of Alden Tan

About Alden Tan

Alden Tan writes about honest and real stories at his blog. He's both a passionate writer and Bboy. Check out his free book, 12 Things Happy People Don't Give A **** About!

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  • Dochy

    This is SUCH a wonderful post that rings so true!!! I could totally relate to all that you were saying. I had a similar bout a couple of years back when I wanted to quit a well paying software job because “it wasn’t feeling right”. From the outside, i had everything–a great office close to home, lovely colleagues, excellent work timings with hardly any stress/pressure, “dignified” post/role @ work–it was a dream come true for many! But I wasn’t happy. the job content was not utilizing my potential to the fullest and the main problem was I didn’t know where else I wanted to be!!! But I wanted to quit this job since I knew it was sucking the joy outta my system…
    My family, which has been my greatest support through everything, all my life, was appalled when I told them. This was more because I had no clue where my interests lie. My father told me, “See, if you wanna quit and go into something as wacky as film direction, I’m ok with that, but since you dunno what to channel your talents in, why don’t you stay in this job, find what you truly want, and then shift?” Of course, it makes perfect sense like most of the things he says all the time 🙂 but I couldn’t pull through in that job any longer. i quit and went through one month of lack of support, lotsa fear, anxiety and stress over how the future’s gonna be like…
    Soon, after a little bit of introspection and with ample help from a good friend, I realized I could get paid for what I love doing – reading books! And, right now, its been 2.5 years since I joined as an editor in a leading MNC in my city! I’m happy, my parents are super jubilant too 🙂
    One thing I’d like to add onto your list is:
    8. Remember, its bound to get better soon! 🙂 and in the end, it’ll be totally worth it!
    Thanks again for this wonderful post, Alden!

  • So true!


    These are things that can make you loose faith in a lot of aspects – ultimately in humanity and life itself.

    My way of dealing with it, to avoid becoming a bitter old bastard, is to try to understand WHY the persons (or Furries) react the way they do. As stated in the post it is ALWAYS something within them that triggers or explains the result.

    Sometimes it is actually out of a misdirected attempt to protect YOU from hurt and failure (often done by parents).

    Great, great and inspiring post!

  • tammi

    Enjoyed this article. The interesting thing is that often, the naysayers will dish out advice even though they don’t have any real experience with the subject matter. Most people mean well – I thank them for their advice but remember that just because they couldn’t succeed at something, doesn’t mean I won’t succeed.

  • Jacquelyn

    Great piece!!! I also recently left one career to follow my calling to develop a music ministry with only the belief that I had to do this. I am blessed to have the support of friends and families, even my former coworkers, although I know some may be confused by my methods, which don’t fit old paradigms on ‘paths to success’. But I have more faith in myself and God than I do in anyone’s opinions, including the occasional fear that may arise (which remind me how to be patient and to remain trusting and faithful).

  • Navy

    I’m currently going through this myself where I’ve come at a crossroads in terms of what to do career wise. I have a stress free job with good hours, decent pay and also close by but I also feel depressed. I dread going into work everyday and I also feel that it’s draining me.
    Originally I wanted to quit here and apply for something better paying but I realized that wouldn’t make a difference. It’s the same type of office setting which is very mundane and routine. It wasn’t until I met someone who now as a friend, has showed me that it’s possible to make your dreams come true. Their optimism wotj their life and how they’ve pursued their passion became very inspiring for me.
    I decided then and there to pursue mine: pursue my passion for art and teaching. I’ve become very happy since I’ve started painting and drawing again. I haven’t had a creative outlet in so long. Slowly over time I want to build my name as an artist and host my own exhibition, collaborate with other artists…use my art to beautify the world And inspire others. My other passion is teaching. I enjoy teaching others and making that small difference in peoples lives. I’m pursuing my own tutoring business as well.
    If all I ever wanted was the money then I could stick it out with this job and move up in the company. I wasn’t happy and I felt lost and drained, even depressed. Choosing a path that allows me to make a difference and pursue my passions has made me feel happier again and I feel that I’m living, enjoying life and its little things. I’m thankful to meet that one person who inspired me to follow my heart and follow my dream, and that it is possible. I’m also thankful to have the love and support of my parents, for not putting me down and allowing me to pursue a path, which to most people, doesn’t seem practical and secure.

  • Hey Tammi,

    I know right? I had a lot of flak on my current relationship and it amused me that people think they were qualified to give out advice.

    Glad you see it that way :). You can succeed. Nothing else matters.

  • That’s awesome Navy.

    It’s great you already know your passions. Some people don’t even know.

    Passion is inspiring, for yourself, your life and those around you. Great to know that your parents are there for you. The support of those around you would help a lot too.

    That’s why successful people emphasize surrounding yourself with positive people.

  • “More faith in myself”.

    You nailed it!

    Other’s opinions don’t matter 🙂

  • Thanks Furries,

    Yeah finding the underlying issue and intent of what they say matters too. Sometimes it ain’t all that bad 🙂

  • Thanks Dochy!

    Awesome! Reading books and being paid for it. THAT’s the bigger dream.

    But hey, think about it, it was probably the fear, anxiety and stress which brought you all to where you are now. And the universe is never wrong.

    And all you did was try.

  • Joice

    It takes courage to become who you really are 🙂 Thanks for this great article.

  • eh, so so article. i appreciated the spirit in which its given but disagree but many of the specifics. anything is not possible, in fact most things are highly improbable or so improbable as to be effectively zero. however, everything does not need to be possible in order for your hopes and aspirations to be probable.
    most the other portions are nicely stated. and i do appreciate the general theme of self referential self reliance

  • Polly Peace

    This article really rings true with me. Thanks so much for posting it. I quit the 9-5 of a job I was uninspired by, unmotivated in and generally ungrateful for, because it was so far removed from my passion. I decided to go back to uni and get my teaching qualification which was the best decision I ever made as so many doors were opened up for me along the way in regards to other passions of mine. As a result of choosing to follow my heart I now get to enjoy teaching plus I work as a professional singer and also have my own vocal coaching business, something that would probably not have been possible had I been still doing my old job. I’m inspired to write now (another passion of mine) and a few books planned which I can’t wait to get started on. All of my family and the majority of my friends have been so supportive, but there have been friends who have made unsupportive comments (some insinuating that I’m just lazy) which at first really used to make me feel I had perhaps chosen a wrong path. Now, after some time reflecting, and on reading articles such as yours, I totally know that I made the right decision and that I don’t need to take any unhelpful comments to heart. You are right, many people try to dissuade others from a path that they wish to travel but fear that they can’t, perhaps through insecurities or jealously, and it’s useful to understand this so that they voices do not become your own limited beliefs. Thanks, Alden for reminding me of this!! 🙂

  • Polly Peace

    😀 your story is so like mine! Good for you for following your true passions. There is nothing quite like it, is there?!

    You say “I’m also thankful to have the love and support of my parents, for not putting me down and allowing me to pursue a path, which to most people, doesn’t seem practical and secure.” This is exactly how I want to raise my daughter – your parents sound ace and this is so the type of parenting that we need in this world. My parents are the same and I think it makes a big diff!

    All the best with your new career 🙂

  • Amen Alden.

    A great reminder that not everyone is waving the flag for you when you decide to flex your creative muscles and choose the improbable or impractical path that deviates from “conventional wisdom”. That brings up a lot of fear in people when they see you doing what they wish they had the courage to pursue.

    I just turned 50 with a family and a mortgage in New York city and am in the process of pivoting from the daygig blues to blogging and helping others unearth their own unique stories and live their passion. Trust me, the silence can be deafening sometimes from your support network. But in that silence you can find your strength of conviction that the dream is worth it and so are you.

    Thanks for this.


  • go Alden

  • Courtney

    Inspiring! Thank you kindly!

  • Denis Howe
  • No prob Joice!

  • Already got hooked at “Own kind”.

  • No prob Courtney!

  • Thanks Stephen!

  • Hey Mark,

    Love it! Your story is already awesome. The silence is deafening sometimes indeed, but hang in there! It won’t be silence when you grow even older when you look back. It will all be colourful memories.

  • No prob Polly Peace!

    I get flak all the time, from what I do (blogging) and having a relationship with someone overseas.

    It used to bother me a little, but meh, after awhile it amused me that these people, who are clearly unhappy too like to talk too much.

    Love your story. Unique talents indeed 🙂

  • No prob David! Thanks for dropping by!

  • Craig Ruvere

    Alden, thank you for the wonderful post. I really needed to hear your 7 tips today. I’ve been involved in many creative endeavors in my career and am currently unsure of where I am and want to be creatively.

    Creative people are not easily understood by those who have a more analytical mind. We are passionate people who need to follow our dreams in order to feel fulfilled. #7 pretty much says it all…you can’t please everyone in life and at some point you have to stop trying. If you haven’t pleased yourself, what have you really accomplished?

    All the best to you my friend…

  • lv2terp

    Fantastic list!!! Thank you for sharing this insight 🙂

  • dawn@joyfulscribblings

    Great post and just what I need to read at this point in my life. I started a new blog in February, but didn’t really publicize it to friends and family until last week. I have gotten a lot of positive feedback from people, but there are certain people I haven’t heard from which surprised me. I try not to take it personally and just keep plugging away. Kudos to you for following your dreams!

  • arushi

    I am exactly in the same situation. Quitting my job on a month’s time in order to pursue my dreams. I don’t know what result will be, but what I know are 2 things- I don;t want to be in my current job and to give my 100% in my upcoming exams- gateway to my dreams. Thanks for sharing your experience !!!

  • This post gave me the right inspiration at right time which I was looking for! Thanks a lot! 🙂

  • Hey Craig!

    Glad it helped. Nice! I know right, creative people really do think a different way, which I think is really cool 🙂

  • Np!

  • Nice Dawn!

    Yeah as long as you’re not aiming to be controversial, it’ll be all good with a blog.

  • Nice Arushi! What’s your dream?

  • Glad to hear Sharma!

  • jsah

    These seven tips are very helpful. I realize when people question someone else’s decisions, they really are thinking about their own insecurity and limitations. They have never been through what you are experiencing so a lot of questions come up (why are you doing this? what will you do for money? what will people think?) as well as their expectations of possible failure (what makes you think you can do this? what will you do afterward? I don’t think you can do it). I made a couple of major life-changing decisions that I’m happy about because I did it for myself, and it brought me to where I am today and I am very happy. Now, I have much smaller goals that are just as important to me and not easy for people to understand why I’m doing it. My husband is the most supportive person I have ever known, and because he sees how passionate and determined I can be, he will support me all the way!

  • Chris Lappin

    Alden I loved this post and it serves as a wonderful reminder.
    I gave up employment for self-employment in 2000 and a few people thought I’d gone mad! The majority were simply worried and concerned for me as employment is the norm.
    Someone once said to me that if you do, or don’t do, something because you’re worrying about what others will think, then they are in control of your life.
    Thanks for your insight.

  • Chaitanya krishna

    Very inspiring article. I am also in the same boat but I don’t know what my passion is???

  • Christian

    Hi Alden, this post was really meaningful and put some perspective into things for me. While my situation is different, I saw many parallels in your article. People constantly question me about decisions with regards to my relationship with a treasured person in my life, though I told myself what I did was ultimately the responsible thing to do. Sometimes I eventually cave in and begin to believe what others say and it gets awfully confusing at times. Thank you for this article, it really helped alot.

  • Kal

    I must add one thing: Sad as it is, often, when you undertake something huge, everyone will oppose you. If you fail, they say “Told you so.” But if you SUCCEED, then everyone will praise you, as if they really believed in you all along. It’s not pretty, but it’s true.

  • christina

    This article is great confidence fuel to continue what it is that I am doing with my life despite the lack of support from the most important figure in my life. I have held back and tried to follow a safe route when I really wanted to go off the beaten path and explore all there is to life. I have strayed a little but never fully committed.

    Well, now I’m off the path hacking my own trail slowly learning to balance on my own without the support I thought I desperately needed.

    I’ve learned that As time passes we gain more confidence in trusting ourselves so when moments without support arise we can stand steady and continue on our way.

    Thanks for your wisdom

  • Hayley

    thank you

  • Heartless one

    I have gone through the ringer so to speak the past few years. Moved out at 18 went to college had a few jobs couldn’t find my niche but manged to land some pretty great jobs. Now 24 going on 25 and I moved back home this year after two deaths in my family I have two younger sisters 19 and 20. I being the oldest and coming back home have my own dreams but I am constantly not good enough. The only one who will pitch in around the house , etc. I go to bed crying numerous nights a week knowing I do so much and it’s never good enough but the other two do nothing and are still shining stars. I am at witts end!! I don’t want to cut off contact with my family nor should I have to move but I am concerned for my own well being ! I am constantly feeling crappy because of the negative moods in the house. It felt like the right thing to do after the deaths in my family to move home but I’m so torn ? I am more than appreciative of everything that was done for me when I was little and I show tons and tons of support , help around the house , errands , etc. this article was enlightening but I’m still torn as to how I should feel. Does anyone else go through this ????? Thank you for your insight !!!!!

  • razan

    Nice topic 🙂
    Please would you check my blog i am new and i would love the support .. thank you

  • blondie

    I’m 25 and still living at home, my parents keep banging on at me to find a ‘career’ type job, but I just want to find a job that will make me happy. They try to control & manipulate me all the time, and I suffer from very low self confidence and self esteem because of them. I just want to live my life the way I want to, and not have them riding my back all the time.

  • MaRia

    Thank you for this article, I have a business idea and eveyone around me is being so negative towards it 🙁 this has really helped me significantly, again thank you so much.

  • Arnächt Kanjaberenz

    Alden Tan, I don’t think break dancing is good for you. Stop wasting your time on this endeavor. I absolutely don’t support you in this.

  • Andrea

    Thank you. You have a great site here filled with wise and comforting tidbits. I have visited the site more than once. Keep up the good work.

  • Jessica

    I’m glad to find this article to start me off somewhere. its difficult to find the right career but i want to be successful when i do and be happy. currently my family hasn’t supported me and I’ve been pushed away. I’m married but i don’t feel that I am of how my husband is. I’ve been put down and basically yelled at. My self esteem is real low. I’m using steps to improve my life and be around those that DOES care about me. I have a couple friends that are more supportive then my family but I live with those that are not. The family I live with and my mother to help out brings me down to the point I feel useless and not in control. My mom and husband worries about themselves and not once talk to me. I’m slowly pushing them away and might end up messy. I’m at a brick wall that I’m going to climb over very soon! This is only the beginning for my path to take in life. I can only do whats right for me and my future!

  • G

    I’ve just quit my job today and I was so depressed because no one in my family know about it yet. I even went out with a good friend who thought I am still working. This decision brought the sense of being free to me but I feel very guilty for not being able to tell everyone I love about the truth. The thing is.. I like my job but I don’t fully enjoyed being there. I find myself forcing my mind, body and soul every morning to get up to go to work and being a very laid-back type of person.. I don’t like scheduled routine. I don’t like being in a box full of pressure. I just can’t. So I quit and I don’t regret it. I know what I want.. Although I do not know how to get it.. I know what I want. I am going to leave my country in 2014 to travel. I love adventures and I am not giving up on my dream. I don’t care if everyone I love do not understand this. I just need myself to understand me.

  • iamivy

    Just what I need as of the moment. Thank you for this. Very helpful!

  • Such an amazing article Alden! Thank you for posting this.

    All 7 points are extremely important, I especially love #1 & #7. When pursuing your passion, you are faced with so many uncertainties it’s ridiculous- this triggers fear and fear triggers a yearning for support from those around us as well as the ones we are targeting. Applying what you just outlined calms that storm quite well.

    I often tell all the “closet entrepreneurs” that I work with that there are only two types of people in this world- Those that follow their dreams and those that don’t.

    So by all means keep pushing and go after that one thing that you are passionate about. Do it with all your heart! When faced with doubt (due to lack of support) listen to what Audrey Hepburn had to say…”Nothing is impossible, the word itself says, “I’m possible!””

    I’d love to help if you are on the fence and afraid to quit your job to pursue your passion. I’m a good catalyst to ensuring you make it happen 🙂

    This is your life and you only get one. Inspire others #Purposepreneur

  • Marry

    i tought what if i apply to the copenhagen university, i starded the paperwork, and also beating my ass with danish so that way everything will get easier, one day my mom saw me studying and she ask me about it,when i told her she just say it´s not possible, and i don´t think u can make it, i couldn´t believed my own mother.

  • pink24

    I see it’s been awhile since people posted, but I’m hoping someone is listening here. This post really resonated with me, especially now that I feel myself indulging absorbing other people’s negative thoughts about me. I’ve been pursuing writing for the last six years and am truly passionate about it. It’s all I ever wanted to do. I feel like I’ve been steadily progressing, getting an MFA, publishing articles, and now working on my first book in hopes of landing a publisher and an agent. This all sounds good, right? Yet the people around me are not supportive, and they’re supposed to be the closest people to me, namely my family. They put it down because I’m struggling to make ends meet. And am unmarried. I’m a 36 year old woman, but it’s not like I even want to be married or have children. And for this my family thinks my life up until now has been a waste. They tell me to give up my dream. It’s hard for me to not indulge in this, since I’m still struggling. I’ve taken the last year to focus solely on writing my book, which was an amazing experience. I completed it. And now I have to revise it and send it out. Yet my savings is steadily depleting. I am looking for job so I can support myself, but I can’t help but think, has my life been a waste? Because it feels like as of now I have nothing to show for it. I know this sounds very depressing, but I guess it’s just how I feel right now after having a conversation with a ‘naysayer’. Has anyone ever had a dark moment like this? What do you do? I know I should trust myself and the Universe, but sometimes I find it really hard.

  • JoJOe

    Ah.. the path less taken. No one at your back, you will be ignored and shunned.
    Most famous people experience this. The first course of action is going to be difficult and that is self love and self acceptance of your choice. The second will be great doubt.
    When you feel either strongly, know that you have made the right choice. Will it bring, fame and fortune? Maybe, maybe not. But if you pursue it for either of those reasons, it will be unattainable. As in the Tarot card the FOOL, you are at the precipice of your journey and must surrender and walk, jump, fly off the cliff into unknowing. That faith can be a daunting thing.
    That turns many people back thinking “What was I thinking”
    Now comes the reality of unreality and will be most confusing, as it does not feel, look or act like normal society in any regard. Here is what I call the Valley of Emotions. Here you walk alone without a big stick (ego). Here you will go through hell and heaven of constant change and it will become a feeling of abandonment, loss and sacrifice. Here is where you will bare your soul in a desert of choice. This is the hardest road of change. You will notice things about yourself, the universe, the sky, moon, time. You will often loose time or you will stop doing things “on time” you may not take care of your appearance, you may go for long walks in the darkness of night. You may drive somewhere only to realize you don’t know where that is. You may stop talking to people and start talking to others. This is the place of change and many dark nights of the soul. It’s the hardest place to pass. Here you will slay your dragons. Most run home at this point, most simply miss safety and comfort, others cannot face their dragons. And this is ok. Aborting a mission to regroup is totally acceptable. Proceed with great patience. Patience beyond what may be comfortable.
    “No one has died from being uncomfortable” Proceed with the uncomfortable.
    Once through the valley of emotions you will come to a gate or bridge or door.
    You will see it in a dream, a sign, a person, a life challenge. For me it was a dream, I was in a deep well, possibly a well of desire, I was rocketed upwards where a thick metal lid flew off and was flying through a starry night and met up with a control panel. I believe it is my place of reprogramming, redirection. But you will know it has great meaning.
    This is the door of Belief.
    This is where you will mourn. This is where you will question and ask. This is where you will spend much time letting go of the past. You will experience great sadness a “dies irae” a death. This passage is where you will leave behind without regret, guilt or remorse.
    This will take time. This is a place you will rewrite your beliefs, this is a terrifying place to freedom. But “it will be your finest hour”
    I have to go know.. will be back ….. with the mystery of the Door of Belief.

  • LB

    Thank you! i am a recent college graduate looking to move to a large city. My family has always been supportive of me—when I am doing what they deem appropriate. No one in my family has ever moved off so I think they are discouraging and unsupportive because of their own insecurities. It is hard to deal with. I definitely want my family to be proud and encouraging but ultimately I am an adult and need to please myself first.

  • Great article, very on point.

  • Kate Edwards

    My husband did this 10 years ago. If it had brought him happiness I would be a lot more supportive.

  • Isabel

    OMG that is so true! I am an artist and have the dream of starting up my own freelance business. I feel a lot of judgement from my family as well, especially my dad. He doesn’t seem to value Art nor my talent sometimes. He’s always pointing fingers when I fail at something and says “I told you so.”, but when I succeed he shows support (even though he can’t express it very well, but I see a change in his attitude).
    It discourages me so much to feel constantly disapproved by family, like they don’t believe in you and would rather take the safe route that brings in money every month (aka “boring day job”), as if you can’t call it a “real job” just because you enjoy what you do…
    A lot of my insecurity as an artist comes from the way people around me seem to just dismiss my Art, but I won’t give up on my dreams, life is way too short not to be brave! Ignore the sayers and surround yourself with other inspiring and positive people, that’s the best way to keep you going! :))

    Best of luck to all,

  • Japanesegroundskeeper

    Basically I am right there! Except I need thier support because I am going on a missions trip and need finacial support! I have had people say they dont think the trip is worth financing because I am in a groundskeeping roll in stead of running the show. I am trying to find other ways to get the cash but would also like them to see that there are no small parts. Suggestions? PS I am in a time crunch and have less then 2 weeks to get the money so I can’t even organize a decent event in that amount of time.

  • Japanesegroundskeeper

    Not sure if this comes to late but i have recently posted a short comment on here. I don’t know what your beliefs are but I still believe that even if no people on earth are supporting me GOD is in control. My biggest struggle with that is simply that people physically say negative things and God is sometimes harder to understand.

  • ggdebgg

    well… my question is, if someone doesnt DISCOURAGE your passions – is that supporting you? I mean, they take no interest in it, like if you play a sport they have no interest if you got a goal or not, or if you made the playoffs and they dont come to your game… But they dont tell you YOU can’t go to your game… is that support??? I guess it could be worse and should be thankful.

  • joju

    i dont know if i am being sensitive or acting weird but i sacrifice most of my joys just for my family so that they will be happy but they never once tries to understand m or they dont even trust me but they trust my friend…they are giving me money but i dont want that i want to talk to them and i want love i dont need boyfriends to make me feel better but ineed my family to support me…i even sacrificed my dreams for them and now here i am crying day and nights i wanted to become a child specialst but now i am in an engineer….why should i take these seriously why cant i let ’em slide?i want to forgive evrybody including myself but i cant even control my tears it just falls with my throat…as if i cant swallow anymore….

  • Brian-

    i feel as if i relate to this comment almost more than anything i have read in my entire life. i am very curious to hear more about your story if you’re willing to share.

  • optimist

    Oftentimes things don’t work out exactly how we want them to, sometimes they turn out better and sometimes they don’t, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t learn from the experience and appreciate the value in taking a chance. It is more important to figure out the next step then to dwell on what didn’t work.

  • blue

    me too ???

  • FkHaters..

    Happy that I’ve read this blog… It was my intention that I googled this topic up because I too at some point get fed up with haters! I don’t want to justify or rationalize my experience, but its true how friends and family will distant themselves from you etc… But I’ve learned, and its simple as this, 90% of population all have the same common limited beliefs, zero ambition, no dreams / goals / passion / financial planning etc… They’re soaked into convention of everyday life…It’s funny how you outgrow most of these people. You become a different person unique and equipped with more abilities / skills etc… I’ve been in the self development area – books to audio tapes etc learning and improving myself for 3 years and counting and its been such a blessing for me…

  • Sharlie

    This article, and your other article on anger, have helped me tremendously. Very rarely do I meet someone who I feel like I can relate to in such a way, even on the internet. I appreciate you and your articles, thank you.

  • Ivy

    Hi there. I just read this and I feel awfully the same. My grandmother is the one supporting my fees for my studies and college. She wanted me to take up Accountancy in which I did. I thought I can do it, but in the long run, I have lost interest since all that math and analyzing isn’t my forte. I’m more on the arts than the analytical kind of person. I wanted to take up Film but I also thought to myself that it’ll be hard to earn a living there so I can just consider it as a hobby. I also wanted Multimedia Arts but studying in that field is very expensive and I don’t want to be a burden to my grandmother who is having trouble financially. One last thing came to thought: Broadcast Communication. I want to explore the world of mass media. When I told my aunts that I wanted to shift, they told me that I can’t do it because “I don’t know how to speak”. (I’m only shy when I am with my relatives since when I was a child, they bullied me for being an attention seeker). When they asked me where I would want to study, I told them that I want to pursue my dreams at the most prestigious state university in our country. They told me that it’ll be impossible for me to survive there because the university’s program there is very aggressive. They also mocked me telling me that I should have a high GPA in Accountancy because “they thought I was smart”. I wanted to tell them that I’m not fond of math but I just kept silent. I felt like crying. Hard. It was very nerve-wrecking and the pressure is on since I have failed my subject. I really want to shift because I can’t see myself as an accountant. All that sitting and analyzing where the money went is boring. I hope you could give me some advice and I hope it’s not too late. Thank you.

  • Ohyeah

    Your life is never a waste. You have to trust the timing. If you believe what you have is gold you will have gold. It will take hard work and dedication. Even loneliness because the people that are successful usually don’t have many people around them that think just like them. 99% of humans get up and work a 9-5 only 1% live our their dreams so that is why support comes at a narrow pace. But just kick ass an live life the way YOU want it!!

  • fulu

    this was a year ago, and I hope you are in a better place now, but keep writing. The darkest times will flower the deepest wisdom in you and your work will be rich because of it. Sending you good energy.

  • Wondering

    What I need help with is that it seems everyone around me can encourage everyone else but me. I am in a high stress job that carries more responsibility then most people want, however, my family, friends and boss seem to be very resistant to anything outside these parameters. Isn’t part of life to have people who believe in you on some level beyond what I can provide for them – also shouldn’t loved ones be interested in my life improving or that I’m happy? It seems everyone else has loving caring support – sigh.

  • Person

    Thank you so much for this post!! Made me feel better because my parents are EXTREMELY old-fashioned and I’ve been so frustrated recently. Your message helped 🙂

  • heris

    It is better to be alone than in bad company. (George Washington)

  • unclesam328

    #3 or friggin’ care.

  • wiser4life

    Yes, true.

  • hundred

    Sometimes it just hurts, how much of an a**hat someone can be. Most of the time, they don’t even realize their a**hat-iness either.

  • marleyshia

    okay why is my life so horrible i always treat my friends,enemys nice and why don’t they be nice to me I always forgive them

  • Princess E

    1,4 and 5 sounds close to me in my situation.

  • Richard “King Richard” Doredan

    i go thru this, but in a peculiar way, i’m a songwriter, and entertainer, playing guitar in a band( in addition to family and job) i have a friend who is a writer too and always criticizing my efforts at being creative, always telling me i’m not trying hard enough, always telling me my songs aren’t meaningful enough, always telling me always saying i need to dig deeper to create something more a reflection of my own life, in short always pointing out every single mistake he sees in the QUALITY of what im doing.. what do you say to a freind like that ???


    I’m a sixteen year old girl and I feel like no one supports me. I have trouble finding out what I want to do in life and instead of telling me that it will all be fine, people around me tell me that I really need a degree and a job and money and everything. I feel like I’m letting everyone down.
    Usually I don’t really care what people think, but I think that is different when it comes from your loved ones.
    I feel misunderstood, and I’m not so sure how to fix that yet.
    Your tips will defenitly help me find the courage to go on, with or without support.
    If anyone has any experience with a similar situation, I’d love to hear about it in a reaction to my comment or via my blog

  • CCarolinee

    This article has been incredibly helpful and I’m really thankful that you decided to both share your story, give advice and thus help. English is my major but recently I litterally fell in love with Turkish(a tv show was a trigger). My cousin, whom I love dearly has been kind of insensitive about it. She jokes with it, it’s weird for her. That was completely ok but, after her being more and more sarcastic I realized that the pain and stress caused by her reactions had amounted. But you are right. Your passion is the priority. Since ‘falling’ for Turkish I’ve never felt happier, more alive and enthusiastic <3

  • Edgar Do O Nobre

    I feel useless and a nobody because nobody wants to hire me…its just sucks

  • Tyler

    I don’t comment on articles or anything like this ever, but reading your post actually made me feel better about my situation. Haven’t recieved hardly any support from family or friends for following my dreams and I just wanted to say thank you for writing this. It actually made me even more confident in my decision. You’re an awesome writer, keep it up. God bless.

  • Joanna Bewley

    The toughest of all is going through this with your partner. I’ve been married 23 years. When my husband picked me up late last night from a film shoot that I was paid to do(we are sharing one vehicle)he was livid. He yelled and cussed at me the entire 30 minute drive home for incoveniecing him and then began mocking my love for the stage and performing. I’ve never felt so hurt. It ended with him telling me that he’s never going to do this again and I’ll have to figure out my own way to set if I ever want to do it again.


  • zane

    Your advice really cheered me up alot especially after what my parents told me.. honestly, I dream to be a performer and musician because of my passion for singing. But im in asia and asian parents are usually skeptical about this route. parents would always put me down and make me doubt my singing :/ but thank you for your advice (: it has helped me alot (:

  • JoJOe

    Brian, I hope you went through the door.. I have been on a physical plane as of late…

  • Solo

    I think I could deal with people that don’t support or understand what I’m doing. In my case it was simply starting a blog as a challenge and creative outlet to counteract the depressing effects of my mundane, soul draining, mindless clerical job.
    What I’m having trouble dealing with is the hostility I encountered from coworkers when I shared my excitement about this accomplishment ( this was a big accomplishment for me as I didn’t know anything about blogs or technology in general). They not only didn’t support me, they actually sabotaged me, they went to the owner and told him my blog was not good for the company.
    There is nothing about the company, owner or any of the employees in my blog but he did not read it and said he didn’t need to… He took what they said as gospel and told me to disable the blog..
    I didn’t disable it but left it dormant for over a year…got fired anyway.
    Yes, I did hate that job and I truly believe the anxiety was making me physically ill but now it weighs so heavily on me that people went to such lengths to take something away from me that’s so inconsequential to them but made me happy.
    Almost equally devastating was realizing that the people who were “supportive” were not willing to speak up in my defence.
    I understand the reasons…not speaking up in my defence is about self-preservation, I understand it though I think it’s cowardly. The hostility comes from their own insecurities. I understand it but I don’t know how to defend myself from such malicious and targeted attacks on my minor accomplishments. I try to ignore the negative people but they are refusing to be ignored. So now I’m at a loss do how to proceed.

  • Thank you for this article.

    I have always been one to do my own thing and follow my heart and calling but have often wondered why my “friends”, even family seemed to pull away and not support me.

    I know most don’t understand, many will never have courage to really LIVE their lives

    I recently made a HUGE move to Kauai and left just about everything behind to move to a place where I knew no one. The calling to do this was powerful so I just did it!

    Although I am good with living my life on my terms (always have), there is a part of me that is sad that even family members seems distant.

    Thanks again for this article… reminds me that even though I may not understand the behavior, I will never regret the decision to truly LIVE.


  • B U K L A U

    With all honesty, I went against my teacher because of how me and the ENTIRE class see that she doesn’t teach us or prepare us for the test we will have to eventually take (AP US HISTORY TEST). When I went against her, no one supported me despite my calling them the night before and arranging everything with half of the class. No, not only did they not support me but also stood up for the teacher by telling me to “step outside”. It was not in any way embarrassing as it was upsetting to see that I had the courage to do what they practically ask for and begged to happen and they just stabbed me in the back. Situations like that showed me the cowards and the real friends. Only one friend walked out with and I am more than proud to call her a friend. This teaches me so much but … I just couldn’t fathom the inhibition that laid upon them in such a time of my need for them. Nevertheless I think what I did was right and I think I spoke my mind without fear nor with hesitation. I will proceed with the school’s investigation. With all hopes the matter will be resolved logically and with due process of both law and adequate fairness.

  • Life

    so then, what you are doing at home?

  • Becky

    I have experienced this my whole life as a creative person. I was a very creative child and studied drama, violin and piano. My father had absolutely no interest in any of my performances or concerts, and occasionally (when angry) would call me “useless”. I got a scholarship at the end of high school to study design, and he only focused on the fact that I didn’t get high marks in other subjects. As an adult I have had such a desire to create, and have slowly worked through a degree in the particular creative field I’m interested in, but in the back of my head I hear my father’s voice – and it has kept me inert, not taking 100% action on learning to master a medium with which to create. My mother hasn’t given me the support I so desperately wanted, but for different reasons. I think she feels she doesn’t want to get my hopes up (and also doesn’t really understand the creative arts), but I find myself analysing her words, trying to find some ‘proof’ that she doesn’t think I’m capable of making good art. I find it so, so hard to believe in myself when my own mother and father seem to think I’m incapable of succeeding in my passion. It’s gotten slightly easier as I have gotten older though. I like this article, and will try to use it to move forward.

  • kim

    Thank You. I needed this.

  • James garrity

    I know that half of my soul is literally eve of Genesis I will stand by her always where ever the road leads me.I can relate to her emotional pain.I trust her and believe she is God’s daughter.I will never abandon without conditions.if she ever intended to harm me it would have already occured.I patiently wait for her healing to begin.I figure we have forever.she’s worth the wait.

  • James garrity

    Would you believe some angels would rather die than fail god.I feel like I’ve completed half my mission in life.I’ve acquired half of his daughters soul.eve is literally half of my feel her soul cuddle with mine inside my body.I love her so much.she is the kindest soul.the love of the soul b never dies.I’m literally never. Alone.she is inside I enjoy hearing her laugh at my nonsense.if if she laughs at me I cherish her laugh.we have moods that are up and down I love both sides of her.forgiveness applies to eve also.even if I’m the only one that supports her.I stand by her.I’m her biggest fan.