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Letting Go and Starting Over When It’s Hard

“Letting go isn’t the end of the world; it’s the beginning of a new life.” ~Unknown

This June marked 12 years since I got divorced and moved 1,000 miles away from my hometown. It’s an anniversary that I usually remember, but not one that I tend to dwell on—until this year.

This year, the memories of the demise of my first marriage were hovering at the forefront of my mind.

Maybe it’s because I saw a friend who is roughly the same age I was, going through similar hard decisions. Maybe it’s because my spouse and I were struggling to make a hard decision about an external relationship that isn’t going well.

Whatever the reason, it caused me to reflect on what I’ve learned in the last decade or so.

My ex-husband and I met in high school, when we were seventeen, and had been dating for seven years when we got engaged.

I think on some level we knew, even then, that we shouldn’t get married, that things weren’t that great, but people were starting to ask, and everyone (including us) assumed that we would get married. So we did what we were “supposed” to do.

Things were okay for a little while, and outwardly we seemed happy. Inside, however, things were crumbling. We kept trying to put the pieces back together, but every time we tried to hold tighter, things dissolved into another argument, each cutting more deeply than the last.

By the end we barely spoke, each retreating to separate rooms for the evening. Eventually, I got up the nerve to call it quits. He agreed, and for the most part, the split was amicable.

Honestly, I think my decision to move away was harder for him to accept than the divorce. Maybe because it made things seem more final.

So here I am, twelve years later, older and hopefully wiser, looking back at that time in my life and thinking…

Was leaving painful? 

Absolutely.

It was horribly hard to leave what I had known for the previous ten years: a spouse, a home, a friendship. How do you walk away from the one who was your closest connection for that long?

Was creating a new life scary?

Terrifying.

I moved 1,000 miles from almost everyone and everything I had ever known. Starting over is hard, really hard—especially when you feel like you failed at holding together something as important as a marriage.

Would I do it again?

You bet.

Staying in that relationship was killing us both, because we were growing and changing, but not in the same way—not on the same path. My life now is so vastly different from what I thought it was supposed to be back then. I could never in a million years have planned for my life to be the way it is today.

So what have I learned?

I need room to grow.

In that relationship, I didn’t have space and freedom to explore myself—my thoughts, feelings, and beliefs—and it was stifling. When I had a new idea, I usually received harsh criticism and derision.

Understanding ourselves, and what we stand for, is vitally important to our happiness, and we need room to figure those things out.

Relationships need to be elastic. When we stretch past the boundaries of what we know in the relationship, those boundaries either expand to hold the new ideas or they crack and fall apart.

I was stretching, and the relationship was trying to restrict me. Eventually it couldn’t take the strain.

I had to let go.

Letting go of that relationship meant letting go of people’s expectations about what my life should be (including my own). It was so hard, and it felt like everything I knew was falling apart—like the world was crumbling around me.

But there is so much possibility without those expectations. Starting over gave me an opportunity to craft a new life for myself in ways I had never imagined.

Yes, it was hard. Yes, it was scary. I hope I never have to start from scratch again, but now I know that I have a choice.

We all have choices. We can choose our direction, every single day.

Letting go sometimes means letting it all go.

We talked about remaining friends (and I know some of my friends have made that work), but honestly, we couldn’t remain friends and still move on. I left it all behind and started fresh.

When you rebuild a house that has been damaged by a fire or other disaster, you don’t just start building on top of what is there. If you do, it will quickly fall apart again. First, you have to remove the debris and get back down to the most solid foundation.

The solid foundation in my life is me. Always. I had to let go so that I could find myself.

These lessons are relevant for any relationship.

Whether it’s a romance, a friendship, or even family relationship, sometimes you have to take a hard look and make a hard choice. Even if the choice is to stick it out and not let go.

When you take the time to really know yourself—know your values, know your beliefs, know what is important to you—you can make the right choice, even when it’s hard.

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Avatar of Tina Robbins

About Tina Robbins

Tina Robbins is a Core Spirit Coach, helping women rediscover who they are after years of letting other people drive their lives. You can find her at www.openroadscoaching.com, on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/OpenRoadsCoaching, or on twitter @openroadscoach.

Announcement: Wish you could change your past? Learn to let go and create a life you love with the Tiny Buddha course!
  • Thomas

    Thank you so much. I can imagine how hard was that for you but I know it made you stronger & for that I want to thank you to take the time to write this wonderful post. Like you, I’m so glad I walked away from an intoxicated relationship. Namaste :)

  • Metasophos

    I couldn’t imagine a more timely post, and with Independence Day just a few days away. I’ve started over more than a couple times, and like you, better came from it. Thanks for your insight and thanks for sharing. :)

  • Akilah

    Tina, I am so grateful for you today! THANK YOU!!!!

    This!!!  “Relationships need to be elastic. When we stretch past the boundaries of
    what we know in the relationship, those boundaries either expand to
    hold the new ideas or they crack and fall apart.”

    That is so profound, so worth remembering, and such an empowering tool for decision-making! I don’t even know you and I feel both proud of and excited for you as you use these life-lessons to enhance your life and the lives of others!

    Wonderful share, Tina!

  • Kikig71

    Thanks for having the courage to share. I also appreciate how you point out that this applies to any kind of relationship. I think it can be particularly challenging moving on from relationships you thought would of course always be there and understanding it is a process–some days you just want to go back to how it was when it was all good but you know you can’t just turn the clock back on everything else and  trying to convince yourself the problems really weren’t as bad as you know they were isn’t really being truthful with yourself about who you are and what you need out of the relationship. I guess you just have to have faith that if you keep taking positive steps forward with your new life then eventually it will evolve to be more of what you want and need.

  • Chantal_brigden

    It’s great to start from scratch, move away, begin again if its just you, but if you have children that philosophy doesn’t quite work.

    Good post though x

  • Lily

    Thank you. I’m going through one of the roughest patches of my relationship. My husband and i got together young, and waited 7 years to marry. After 15 years together, he now wants an open relationship and I don’t. We’ve always been able to stretch and grow together, supporting each other along the way and it hurts more every day for both of us. He’s willing to put his new needs aside to save the relationship (and we’ve been in therapy for 10 months to try to work things out) but I think it’s more troubling for me to be in a relationship where my partner feels stifled (not to mention the other baggage it brings up).

    I know that I need exactly what you mention – to take the time to know my values, beliefs and what is important to me so I can make the right choice for myself. Thank you so much for this post. 

  • Jamesgummer

    Great post!

  • Roy james

    sometimes you have to take a step back and re evaluate what your life and relationships are,its never easy but still essential.

  • Apostro

    I agree we all need to let go and find ourselves. 

  • Nury

    You left, not because the relationship wasn’t working, because he lowered your interest level and so you fell out of love. That’s why you left.

  • Anonymous

    “especially when you feel like you failed at holding together something as important as a marriage”

    Being the dumpee, that feeling of failure was by far the biggest thing to come to terms with.  To me, divorce was not something you do because life happens and things don’t always go well.  I needed to come to terms with was that I had married someone who just didn’t share that same belief.

    As far as letting go, what I wished I had been able to know earlier was that as soon as “… or else I’m leaving” thinking occurs, the marriage is over.  With that frame of mind, her actually leaving was just the inevitable next step.  As soon as the threat of separating or divorcing is used to try to control the other, then from that point forward there is appeasement at best, not respect and definitely not love.

    Though it is easy to say “don’t beat yourself up over it”, the mind doesn’t let go that easily, especially when you never stopped loving your significant other.

    It took quite some time for me to reach and, more importantly, embrace the acceptance phase but when that finally was reached the hurt went away, for the most part.

    Ironically, about a year after she left she wanted to reconcile though by then mutual trust and respect was gone and there was nothing left to build on.

    Had “letting it all go” been my course of action earlier I would have been able to start my rebuilding sooner.  I do have peace of mind now though knowing that I was willing to keep trying, that I didn’t give up — regardless of the outcome.

  • http://www.openroadscoaching.com/ Tina Robbins

     it can be a really hard realization for sure. It takes time to heal so be gentle with yourself and allow that space. I am glad my experience can give you some hope.

  • http://www.openroadscoaching.com/ Tina

     Thank you so much , Akilah! It’s really important to remember to be flexible, and sometimes it’s a difficult thing to do. I am glad that piece of the post spoke to you!

  • Deanna

    Beautiful post Tina! I love the phoenix rising theme. Its good to remember form an ending can come a new beginning.

  • http://www.openroadscoaching.com/ Tina

     ” I guess you just have to have faith that if you keep taking positive
    steps forward with your new life then eventually it will evolve to be
    more of what you want and need.”

    This is exactly it! Keep moving forward. Sometimes it’s easy, sometimes it’s hard, but if you just press on you will get where you need to be. Thanks for commenting :)

  • Tina

     Thanks, Chantal. You are correct, if there are kids involved it is much more difficult to start from scratch. However, the main thing is to be true to who you are and what is best for you and the kids. That is the most important part.

  • Tina

     Thank you!

  • Tina

     My heart is with you, Lily, this is a rough course to have to tread, for sure. Understanding your values is vital making the best decisions for both of you. I wish you all the best.

  • Tina

    I agree. I think it’s important to assess things in your life pretty regularly. It can help catch issues early on, before things have gone so far that they can’t be fixed. Thank you.

  • Tina

     That’s an interesting perspective. Thank you for sharing!

  • Tina

     Understanding yourself is really a powerful process, and yes, often letting go of something or someone is part of it. Thank you

  • Tina

     Thank you, Thomas. I am glad you were also able to give yourself a fresh start. Namaste

  • Tina

     Thank you so much. I agree that this is a good time to think about where you have been and where you are going :)

  • Ann Marie

    So interesting to have this post come up right now.  My 15 year marriage is ending at the hand’s of my husband, I’ve decided to move to another state, and will be starting over in business again.  Seems I’ve done this all before, but never at age 47 and never feeling like the rug was just pulled right out from underneath me.  However, through it all I’ve remained grateful for all I have and have had.  For the love and man that was such a huge part of my life for so long, for the person I am today because of this relationship.  Starting over is always scary, but it can also be filled with excitement and joy if you make room in your heart for these emotions.  Loved your story Tina.  Thanks for sharing it and for the point of view that starting over, starting fresh, can sometimes be a blessing we need. 

  • Kris

    It’s not quite that easy if kids are involved…

  • Cocolettie

    This literally was my story! Down to the timing and years! Wow! Thank you for your story and insight! ~Cam

  • broken hearted fool lol

    I’m currently struggling after my ex partner decided he no longer knew what he wanted after 4 and a half years living together for 3 and a half of them. I turned 24 yesterday and it was the worst birthday I can remember as he wasn’t there. I feel so silly as we still have seldom contact we’re on about meeting up on Thursday as I haven’t had no closure it may not be the best thing and my friends are advising me against it. I know I will probably be upset and taking 2 steps back but I feel I will regret it if I don’t go and see him. I think hopefully I will get the closure I need an no longer feel the need to contact him, he’s now seeing someone else already but he’s telling me it’s not what I think. I can’t understand why he is still lieing to Me. people say I’m still young and will look back in a few years an be grateful for the experience but we had our whole lives planned which maybe we shouldn’t of done but I just don’t know how to stop feeling so pitiful. he’s told me that hes keeping himself busy to not think about me which makes me feel worse. everyone says he probably enjoying the freedom but by jumping into another relationship I just feel so worthless…

  • Lily

     Thank you, Tina.

  • Petrina Proctor

    I really like your insight about a spouse using the threat of divorce as a means of control and that there is a lack of respect and love in that situation. That happened in my marriage for the last couple of years and I’m grateful that someone else understands and has made the point like you have. Thank you.

  • http://www.openroadscoaching.com/ Tina

    Wow, thanks Cam. I appreciate the feedback and support and I haope things have turned out well for you!

  • http://www.openroadscoaching.com/ Tina

    Of course, having children can make things more complicated for sure, and starting over doesn’t necessarily mean moving far away like I did. You always have to consider what’s best for your situation.

  • http://www.openroadscoaching.com/ Tina

    Thanks, Deanna. (also, I now have “Closing Time” by Semisonic stuck in my head…”every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end”) 

  • http://www.openroadscoaching.com/ Tina

    It takes a lot of strength and often a lot of time to get through the hard parts. It was about 5 years before I even considered getting married again.

    I love that you recognize that the peach of mind comes from knowing that your choices were based in your values and beliefs. Thank you for sharing your insights and lessons.

  • http://www.openroadscoaching.com/ Tina

     ”Starting over is always scary, but it can also be filled with excitement and joy if you make room in your heart for these emotions”. Absolutely this! Thank you for sharing your story. I wish you all the success you deserve!

  • http://www.openroadscoaching.com/ Tina

    hang in there! It takes time to get through the hard. Think about what is really most important to you in a relationship. How do you want it to feel? focus on that to help get you through. Wishing you the best.

  • Dale

    Thank you, Tina! You wrote what I’ve been going through. I haven’t made that hard choice yet, but I see it’s inevitability peeking around the corner. 

    Your words have affirmed what I know deep down. That is… It’s going to hurt, but it is not the end. It’s just the beginning and there is relief afterwards. Thank you.

  • http://www.openroadscoaching.com/ Tina

    I am glad I could be of service, even if it’s a hard choice. Be gentle with yourself and you will emerge stronger for the journey. Thank you.

  • Deb3m

    This post and comments interest me and I raise the following questions as a point of discussion not as a point of view :) It is interesting in that compared to many others ( and this is not meant in any detrimental way to the writer) it appears a more self serving view as in ‘I made hard decisions that upset a lot of people but i am fine now’. Surely it is always easy to make difficult decisions when they are guided by what we want rather than someone else regardless of the origin of those decisions and also just because we are fine now does not automatically mean they were the best decisions?. One commenter is surely correct in the view ‘the relationship wasn’t working, because he lowered your interest level and so you fell out of love’ but can we say that is true without insight into that person or their own internal thoughts – thoughts which they probably also did not understand at that time? It is possible of course that younger people get caught up as you did in an unsuitable relationship but what about those in their 40s or 50s after long term relationships? But it is not possible to apply universal truths to either the outcomes for the dumped person or anyone else involved particularly children – so i cannot see how the views expressed can apply to those people – or even if they are meant to.  Indeed where children are involved no matter how the instigator frames their terms  there is always a loss which they are forced to react to and not always in their best interests. If we accept that for most of us we would need to put a great deal of consideration into the effects of our actions on children then why not others? It could appear that the need to put the self above the the relationship at all costs is another example fo the throwaway society we currently inhabit? Can we possibly pronounce our actions as good if their intention for others or outcomes are not so and we are unaware of all the outcomes? As I said a very interesting post which oscillates between the self and the greater good. Thankyou!

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/UJ4ZP7UMUUSGVG6UTCVKXNE6TE Agent00Soul

    It’s not so easy if you have both built your entire careers in the same city.  You cannot simply walk away from a career you worked your entire life to build and start from scratch, especially in this recession.  And if you do stay in the same city, you can bet that every single crack on the sidewalk is going to remind you of something from the former relationship.  You are going to lose most of your social life because mutual friends won’t touch either of you with a 10 foot pole.  And if you have kids on top of that, you can just forget about anything.  I’m not disagreeing with the theories you espouse, I’m just thinking they are impractical in real world situations.  Walking away from a bad relationship is one thing.  It’s not so easy to walk away from the other cogs in the machinery of the work-a-day life.  So some of this article sounds selfish to me.  The real world hurts – it’s supposed to.

  • Autumnkat

    Interesting response.  I didn’t read this thinking that Tina was advising anyone to move away from a bad relationship.  I read this thinking that was what SHE did in order to fully start over.  Sure it is different if you have a career that ties you to a city, or children.  The point is that sometimes you have to start over – and for someone with kids or a career that fixes them to a place – that might look different than moving away.  Take from it what you will, you know?

  • Azgari

    Great article. well written and very profound. Thank you.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000638362807 Julie Lombardo

    i’ve made the decision to let go of a family member and in turn i must also exclude myself from certain family events. it is so hard but i hope when i look back i can see myself with a respectful eye. 

  • Kay

    Hello,

    I feel for you. I spent 15 years with someone who turned out to be a demon masquerading as a saint. What was best for me was breaking all ties with him and moving away. You need to find out who you are as an individual and not spend your time obsessing about what he is doing. It is hard… believe me, I know. At least you found out early.

    Family and friends are a great source of comfort…so is keeping yourself busy. You need to grieve and come to grips with the facts, but don’t waste too much time in self pity. Remember that many people go through the same thing or worse and overcome it. You can too.

  • ShugieMoon

    Your article hits home with me now.  After 32 years (yess it can happen after that long too) I am leaving.  I’ve been told I’m selfish, I’m too old, and what’s the point after so long.  It’s about finding out who I really am and want to be able to live that way for however many years I have left.  Starting over is scary; one is supposed to be settled long before now and looking toward the end together.  But it’s the years and changes that have made the difference, it wasn’t supposed to be like this.
    Yes, I’m scared. I’m lonely-leaving a connection and friendship of most of my life. I also feel selfish, sad, overwhelmed, disconnected and feel like a failure.  And he is hurt and doesn’t understand, at all.  So why do this? 
    Because I’m not “me” in this marriage. And I want to be me, I need to be me, I need to find out who I really am after all this time.

    “Letting go isn’t the end of the world; it’s the beginning of a new life.” ~Unknown

  • Bhavesh Dalal

    Thanks for sharing!

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/D2ESXZEBH2TUJ3WTOWQ7KS4G5A shelly

    Hi Tina,
    Thank you so much for sharing your story! I can relate to your painful experience.
    I got married in June 2010 and currently going through divorce proceedings. I tried everything to save my relationship, but I couldn’t.  I had lost my identity in trying to mend the broken pieces of our relationship.  ‘Letting go isn’t the end of the world; it’s the beginning of a new life’ but making that choice was very hard. I still cry over the fact that the person who meant everything to me just abandoned me. Starting over again is scary but there is no other option. I’ve shifted back to my home country. Life feels great with family & friends. I have rejoined my previous office. Two year gap has made work quite challenging. But, I will manage.
    Wish me luck because, I will be signing by first petition on 16th July.
     
    Stephanie – All the best! >hugs< Trust me all of us will come out much stronger! Take care

  • Meg Dias

    Tina, I’m going through it right now. And my story is very similar to yours. How can we ensure that “will work”? Impossible, it was actually good, but not elastic enough. I am suffering a lot, but your writing has helped me to see the positive side of the situation.
    Thank you!

  • ava

    Thank you for sharing this. I currently broke up with my fiance and now, a few weeks later I find myself thinking “I could’ve chosen to be happy,why wasn’t I?”. And my fiance always said that when you love someone,there are no “I love you but…” So how can I be sure of my decision to let go? I did love him. Why did I feel unhappy? Could I have stayed in the relationship and “made myself happy”, since happiness is a choice?   

  • Dcphillygermany

    I read this article 2-3 times before I worked up the courage to respond…

    I am currently going through a separation (and I expect, an eventual divorce) from my wife of 12 years and girlfriend of 2 years prior.  She had been unfaithfull for at least half of our marriage, is a problem drinker, very dishonest and secretive and I knew it was time to go when the thought of spending the rest of my life with her made me nasueous.

    Yet still, she has been gone for almost a month and while I don’t want her back, I am angry at her and struggling with mixed feelings about revenge, loss, loneliness and uncertainty/fear for the future.  I know, too, it’s easy to blame her when she showed indications from the start that she was capable of the aforementioned behaviors and I know I am probably really angry at myself for putting myself in this situation.  I have lived and worked outside the US for over ten years now; my family and friends are at home and while I’m not lonely, I do feel very alone.  My daughter from a previous relationship, who lived with us will be moving the States for college in two weeks and the prospect of being abroad for the first time without my wife and daughter, despite the problems in my marriage, is mildly terrifying.  For the majority of our marriage, “our” friends were her friends.  And although I am financially secure and fit for my age (40), I just don’t know how to feel right now…

    I am thankful that I was finally able to end the relationship – it really should have ended 5 years ago.  I just want to fast forward and be done with the letting go part and move on to the “lesson learned and I’m a better person for it” part…  How do I get over these feelings and when does it start getting better?  I know this is where I need to be right now, but I’m having a hard time focusing on the opportunity with all this crisis in the way!

  • Ballhockeymom

    Thank you so much for sharing your story. I find my self in a very similar boat right now. My husband and I started dating at age 17 and were together for 8 years before we got married and had 2 kids all in the span of 3 years. Now 17 years later(together for 24 years) we are separating. Things have been going down hill for the last 4 years after he found his new “best friend” there wasn’t anything sexual between them but she seemed to bring everything that was wrong in our relationship to a boiling point and we just could fix anything. My husband and I are actually splitting on good terms and will probably end up being better friends then a couple but I’m very angry with his friend and her very inappropriate behavior and I need to know how to let go of my anger, not that I want her in my life, I just want to let it go.

  • Karina

    This post really hits me. I was in a relationship with someone for 3 years and I knew we weren’t supposed to be together but love blinded me. We were complete opposites but yet we both risked being together for so long, even planning marriage after college. It’s been 6 months since he dumped me and even though I know what a horrible person he is I can’t help but still think about him. It’s been so hard for me to move on but your post gives me hope. Thank you,

  • robert

    Dc, I came across your comment and felt compelled to respond. I am in the midst of going through the discovery phase ( of my wife’s infidelities). We have been married for 16 years, and have three beautiful children together. Over the last month, she admitted to three affairs in the last two years. One of those lasting 10 months. This is one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever faced, having three kids between us makes it even extra difficult. I guess the moving on part is the hardest thing to grasp. I know your post is three months old, but if you can share with me anything that has helped you, please do…

  • Tiny Warrior

    As the adult former child of two married parents who fought constantly, I want to remind you kids are more resilient than you may think and can weather the storm of a separation or divorce. When you are a child in that situation, the worst thing you can hear a parent say is, “We’re staying together for you.”

    My mother would say this through broken teeth and blood from my father’s punches. My father would say this drunk and miserable with himself. I for one prayed steadily they would divorce, and they never did. I grew up envying the kids whose parents divorced because they didn’t get woken up by crashes, screams and gunshots every Saturday night. Maybe mommy or daddy was gone except every other weekend, but by golly those children slept in a quiet, peaceful home.

    My siblings and I now view romantic relationships with extreme suspicion. The baby, my sister, is happily married. She was born after the most vicious marital warfare period between my parents. Elder brother and I grew up seeing it ALL.

    Neither of us is married. He is 50. I am 44. I will never marry because of what I saw.

    If a marriage doesn’t work, stop using the children as your excuse. Staying together and forcing them to watch your misery is a form of child abuse.

    THINK ABOUT THAT TONIGHT.

  • Cams

    When you rebuild a house that has been damaged by a fire or other disaster, you don’t just start building on top of what is there. If you do, it will quickly fall apart again. First, you have to remove the debris and get back down to the most solid foundation.

    The solid foundation in my life is me. Always. I had to let go so that I could find myself.
    This is beautiful! I have been on here all day reading articles to help me deal with a recent break up and this is the one quote that hit me the hardest. It has helped me so much. Thank you :)

  • kapi

    i really needed to read this. many thanks from the bottom of my heart. i know and believe that i will get there.xxx

  • Anonymous

    My situation was different and I just picked up and am rebuilding. My marriage lasted about 14 years after 6 months of dating. We divorced started in 2002 and ended in 2005. We got back together after 2 years in 2005, shacking up until his very unexpected death last February. The youngest of our 3 children is graduating in a month, and I was offered a job 14000 miles away. Grandma is house sitting with her until she grads. I have moved to a location I know nothing about, no relatives (closest is 2 hours away for a new position that is so so. But I so badly needed to move., Memories, good and bad, were all over. Plus afte rmy youngest grads, moving was my plan. I just got a jump on the dates with the unexpected job offer.
    Now 5 months afte rmy move, I am finding my, quit smoking, eating right, trying to run a little bit and starting to find the “Happy”. We all deal differently and same in some ways, but it’s best we deal.
    Great post!!

  • Kim

    It isn’t going to easy of course not but isn’t your happiness worth it? I have a 2 yr old and a 12 yr old and I’m divorcing my husband. We had several issues and are leaving amicably. There is nothing he can say to change my mind. It’s time to press forward. It’s hard as hell, but time heals all wounds.

  • Calin

    I know you wrote this a while ago, but it really hit home for me. Thanks for sharing.

  • Grecia_87

    Great post, I’m going through the same situation, with the exception that we have two small children and Moving Away Is Not A Possibility At the moment. I feel So guilty For Letting Things end this way, since I didn’t grow up around my dad either.
    -Grecia

  • t

    amazing, thanks for sharing : )

  • terence mitchell

    love my wife but there to much demonic spirit that are in this relationship she is never going to let these spirit go she feeds off negative engery that keep these dominic spirits around she all ways talking about the past all the time she keep saying i am the problem i really want to stick it out but her negative side keep getting in the way she say iam the problems of this whole relationship i understand who she is now i see more negative spirits than posative i say to my self is she a true child of god

  • terence mitchell

    I have read some of yall comments and you right when you have kids it not easy to walk away because you have invested some much time in that relationship mentall phically finicailly sexaully but the first level we started on was a spiritaul level that god put togther its god doing that we are to togther

  • terence mitchell

    i will tell how we have met i hung out with a homeboy name black he was a homeless dude that always stayed down town alot he told me he was getting ready to have a son by this women he met he told me she was a good peson and he was taking care home i did not now this women that he spoke about but he was happy he would go home and tell this women about me telling her that i was the preacher man that given him spiritaul wisdom all the time i started talking to this girl name pat and his girlfried and her was eighth grade homegirls me and pat seen them two at the socail service black and marie me and black took our conversation out side the two girl talk and laugh two years went past and i got back u p on the chatline looking to meet a good women i met a very nice lady as i thought we spent a weekened togther i got to talking about my x girl friend out of all i said soming about pat thats when we now we new each other from she was with black and i was with pat the blessing in this story is iam now taking care of that women black talk about and his son so we are ment to be togther god dont make no mistakes i heard

  • Emily

    hello to the world at large I want to share my testimony to you all which i believe you can still try your best to give a testimony like this so i was married to Williams at first will both love each other but short time he started a new behavior which i cannot even explain to any one then i keep it to my self hopping one day he will change for good no way he did not change so i was in pain every day don`t no what to do on till one day when a friend of mine visited me in my office she met me crying then she was asking me what is going on i try to be calm but i could not then i open up to her telling me there is a way out which i will do before he left me with my kids i look up and not knowing what to do then i ask her to tell me. shortly she open up to me and say there is a man called Musa he is a spirit man he can do it with in three days then i look an said okay i will try my best to contact him four days later, my husband did not come home i called his phone switch off then i try my possible best i did not hear from him so i began to look for one way for a help so i remember my friend told me about one man called Dr Ogun i quickly run to my friend asking her if she still have Dr Ogun contact then she gave it to me that was how i contacted this great man of spirit he did it for me so quick so now i can now control my husband in any thing even i can tell him that i don`t want him outside today he will not. Now i have a happy family so contact him via email ogundereunitespelltemple@gmail.com

  • CINDY

    HELLO,I am here to testify on how Dr Lawrence help me to bring back my ex-husband who left me 3 months ago i got his email on the internet on an article how he had help so many people,so i emailed the Dr and tell my problems to him and after that day he gave me assurance of 3days,to my greatest surprise my husband came back to me in third day of contacting him,i want to say a very big thank you to drlawrencespelltemple@hotmail.com.CINDY

  • Angelica

    My name is Angelica. I want to testify the great work of Dr.Zack Balo for helping me to get my Ex boyfriend and my job back.I thank Dr.Zack Balo for helping me to recover all what i have lost before back,this is why I said I must tell the whole world, what he did for me is real, if you need his help you can contact him via wiseindividualspell@gmail.com.

  • matta

    Thanks for making my family happy again, my father came back home and he can even take us out, something he never think of before! i wonder Dr egbenakhue are you god or what? amazing you make things happen! i will .Thank you very much. from Holland if you need his help contact email address Dregbenakhuespelltemple@gmail.com

  • kath

    Hello i want to give thanks to the great doctor Lawrence who help mein getting back my ex-boyfriend i saw a testimony post by miss Kate from Spain about how the great doctor Lawrence had helped her, i decide to email him and to my greatest surprise my ex-boyfriend came back to me after three days of contacting him.i simply want to say thanks for what he had done for me and am so happy may he live long. if you have any problem just email him :drlawrencespelltemple@hotmail.com and you will not regret contacting him.PHONE;+2348143988536

  • jasmi

    I want to thank God for using prophetjakula as my source of savior after 9 years of my marriage and my lover left me alone for 6 months,Have just been heart broken until i go in contact with prophetjakula after i saw a ladies testimony on how she was helped by this same man,So i decided to get in contact with him and when i told him all my problems he said this is not a problem that everything will be ok in 2 days time.Exactly the 2nd day my husband called me i was shocked and what surprise me the most was that his behavior was normal as the man i got married to.Am so grateful to prophetjakula for what he did for me, if you wish to contact him Email: prophetjakula@gmail.com

  • jasmi

    I want to thank God for using prophetjakula as my source of savior after 9 years of my marriage and my lover left me alone for 6 months,Have just been heart broken until i go in contact with prophetjakula after i saw a ladies testimony on how she was helped by this same man,So i decided to get in contact with him and when i told him all my problems he said this is not a problem that everything will be ok in 2 days time.Exactly the 2nd day my husband called me i was shocked and what surprise me the most was that his behaviour was normal as the man i got married to.Am so grateful to prophetjakula for what he did for me, if you wish to contact him Email: prophetjakula@gmail.com

  • Helen

    i want to say a very big thanks and appreciation to Prophet Mike for bringing back my husband who left i and the kids for almost two months. i am very much grateful to Prophet Mike. I pray God almighty give you the strength and wisdom to help more people having similar problem like mine. for help you can reach him on his email address: purityspell@gmail.com

  • Kandey

    I can’t thank you enough for the peace of mind I am now feeling that the curse against me is gone. I am feeling more confident and happier every day. I know now that there is someone like you, helping people like me, who are victims of evil people and their curses. Bless you and the work you do. I can’t thank you enough and now I am finally able to sleep at night knowing that you have worked so hard on my behalf to rid me of this years long curse. Thank you. Thank you. Ancientspiritualtemple@gmail.com

  • mary

    do you need your ex back contact this man for help now

    martinslovetemple@gmail.com

  • Karan

    All my thanks to Dr.Ameniwewe. My ex-husband and I have been back together for two months now. And it’s been even better than ever. We’ve been talking about our future, about moving in together and also getting married soon. Things between us are great. I thank you for helping to bring him back to me!, and in case you want to also contact him for help email address is olukuntemple@gmail.com.

  • Amanda Filsinger

    But what if you have kids? You can’t move 1,000 miles away. I feel like I need to get 1’000 miles away because I DO love my husband but we are not a healthy couple and need to divorce but we have kids. We married young and it’s been 13 years. I just told him through text literally one hour ago that we need to call it quits. He sent me a text saying he loved me and I sent him a break up note. We are both at work for the night. I’m looking for sanity, and support right now because I’m picnicking.

  • Amanda Filsinger

    I meant panicking…darn autocorrect

  • Amanda Filsinger

    I really need to talk to you. I’m drowning here…on the verge of leaving my marriage after only 13 years. I.feel.like I’m.dying. sorry, typing on phone and my eyes hurt from crying so I might have typos.
    Something that I just realized today is that I’m not just about to leave my husband…I am leaving myself. The “me” I have been for 13 years….which isn’t the real me, like you say.
    As I was walking through the house today it felt like some surreal dream. Seeing my familiar surroundings as if I weren’t in my body. Out of body experience type of moment. Everything felt familiar yet foreign. I feel homesick in my own home now that I’ve seen everything through different perspective. And I’m terrified. I want the comfort back. The routine and familiarity.
    My life isn’t horrible. He doesn’t beat me. He doesn’t have any addictions. He’s a great guy. I love him.
    But we have grown apart and are so different…we constantly.frustrate esch.other and neither of us are being authentic to ourselves.
    I feel sick.

  • Blah blah

    Then get some counselling and spend some time figuring out why you have grown apart. Most times it’s because you are both walking in eggshells and you are both afraid if the outcome. People give up too easy. May as well get a divorce. Did you even think of your vows ? Did you mean them when you said them.? People cry and whine too much that they are not happy. Get happy. By communicating with each other and taking criticism as an Opportunity to look at yourself. Stop crying that you have grown apart. Grow apart and be yourselves. Stay together and be married. Get over yourself.