“Never be ashamed of a scar. It simply means you were stronger than whatever tried to hurt you.” ~Unknown
My healing journey can be described through what I call the “self formula”:
Self-Doubt > Self-Loathing > Self-Destruction > Self-Awareness > Self-Love
Mine is the oldest story in the book. Adolescent angst.… Read More
“I’ve discovered that you can’t change people. They can change themselves.” ~Jim Rohn
This is indeed a fact—a fact that took me a very long time to learn.
You may argue that we help each other change, and it’s true. But the deepest truth is that only we are responsible for our own growth.… Read More
“Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here.” ~Marianne Williamson
Love terrifies me.
After having loved, courted, and married the love of my life, things went sour. Over the course of a few years, our marriage crumbled and our relationship came to a sudden halt.
When you’ve only been with one person, loved that person to the core, and believed that person to be your soul mate, you take the break-up unusually hard.… Read More
“Conflict is inevitable but combat is optional.” ~Max Lucade
I used to do everything I could to avoid having conversations that could potentially be challenging or difficult—even resorting to lying or obfuscation if I really felt backed into a corner.
I didn’t have a good template for what healthy conflict looked like, so every challenging conversation felt like a minefield where I could be attacked, blamed, or shamed at any moment.… Read More
“Love does not obey our expectations; it obeys our intentions.” ~Lloyd Strom
Have you ever felt less about a relationship when it didn’t exactly pan out like a fairy tale? I sure did.
I had it stuck in my mind that a great relationship should be picture perfect.
When reality would give me a sobering slap showing it was far from perfect, I would walk away from a relationship that refused to meet my standards.… Read More
“Getting over a past relationship is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point to move forward.” ~C.S. Lewis
I recently stumbled into a clothing store where everything was full of life and color, until I saw the sales clerk.
She had obviously been crying. I perused the merchandise and hesitatingly asked her a question about an item.… Read More
“Your task is not to seek love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” ~Rumi
Have you ever wondered if there is such a thing as true love, like in the good old movies of Casablanca or The Notebook? Maybe you’ve found your true love.… Read More
“The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings.” ~Ralph Blum
Divorce. Not an activity that I ever had on my to-do list and not something I contemplated when I got engaged in Paris. Who does?
We’ve all heard the statistics that one in three marriages ends in divorce.… Read More
“Celebrate endings, for they precede new beginnings.” ~Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There was an incessant doubt deep inside that wouldn’t subside. It followed me everywhere—through the good times and the rough times.
By “good,” I mean things were okay. They were never great, ecstatic, wildly passionate, and deeply connected.
I tried to escape it, block it out, ignore it, and pretend this nagging feeling would eventually disappear.… Read More
“To get over the past, you first have to accept that the past is over. No matter how many times you revisit it, analyze it, regret it, or sweat it…it’s over.” ~Mandy Hale
Heartbreak. It’s a hard thing to go through. And the pain—it’s real, isn’t it? Like tangible pain.… Read More
“The only way out of the labyrinth of suffering is to forgive.” ~John Green
I remember growing up in a lonely home. My parents were distant, and it seemed they didn’t care much about me. Their lives were all about them, so I didn’t care much about them.
My sister and I hated Christmas and New Year’s Eve because we never got any gifts or toys during that period.… Read More
*The deadline to submit a story has now passed. Thank you to everyone who submitted one! You will receive an email by the end of November if I’d like to include your story in the book.
When I started this site in 2009, after struggling for over a decade with depression, bulimia, and shame-induced isolation, I hoped it would be a place where we could all feel less alone with our struggles and more empowered to overcome them.… Read More
“Comparison is the thief of joy.” ~Theodore Roosevelt
I spent my teenage years and early twenties believing that my weight was my worth; that I had to look and be a particular way to be accepted or loved.
I lived in a negative cycle of comparing myself to everyone. I remember sitting in on one of my lectures in university, trying to work out if my lecturer was fatter or thinner than me.… Read More
“Don’t make a permanent decision for your temporary emotion.” ~Unknown
You have a small disagreement with your partner and before you know it, it escalates into a big fight. Sound familiar?
You then get dreadfully grumpy. You stick your head in the ground like an ostrich and ignore your partner. You think that you have the right to be grumpy or even angry.… Read More
“Love as much as you can from wherever you are.” ~Thaddeus Golas
At the time I’m writing this article, I have been in a relationship for 1,369 days out of which 716 have been long-distance.
Yes, I keep track of the days, not just the months or the years, because I live every day, not every month.… Read More
“Eventually you will come to realize that love heals everything, and love is all there is.” ~Gary Zukav
I was always a hopeless romantic. Since I was a little girl, I craved love and the fairy tale romance.
Growing up in a two-parent home, I was very fortunate to see that it was, in fact, possible.… Read More
“He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much.” ~Bessie Anderson Stanley
Love. Purpose. Selflessness.
That’s it. Everything I’ve learned about happiness lies in those three words.
Why those words?
Because in their absence it’s hard to be happy. Your mind wanders and sets upon trying to fill that void, leaving little room for joy and happiness elsewhere.… Read More