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Posts tagged with “wisdom”

The Unexpected Way Jiu-Jitsu Brought Me Back to Myself

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“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are.” ~Maya Angelou

There was a time in my life when everything felt heavy, like I was constantly carrying around a weight that no one else could see.

I wasn’t in a crisis, exactly. I was functioning, showing up, doing what needed to be done. But inside, I was struggling to stay afloat—trapped in my own head, questioning my worth, and unsure how to move forward.

One evening, I walked into a Brazilian …

Your Era of So Soft

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What People Are Going Through Them

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My Daughter Needed Me to Choose Better, So I Did

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“Children learn more from what you are than what you teach.” ~W.E.B. Du Bois

I was standing at the service bar, waiting for my drink order to be ready. The scent of steak fat clinging to my apron and infusing itself into my bra, while twenty-something servers around me whined about working on Mother’s Day… yet I was the only mother working that night.

I’d barely slept because I’d closed the restaurant the night before.

My nine-year-old daughter had just told me she wished she were dead.

And here I was, pretending to care about side plates and drink refills …

Some People Never Change

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Every Bit of Positive Energy

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I Wanted Revenge; Here’s Why I Let It Be Instead

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“To let go does not mean to get rid of. To let go means to let be.” ~Jack Kornfield

I must admit right off the bat—as a serial entrepreneur, I’m a risk-taker. Throughout my twenties and thirties, I jumped at opportunities without always vetting the characters involved or asking what six months down the road might look like. I trusted, I leapt, I learned.

At twenty-three, I launched my first real business with another partner—an upscale pet resort. We had climate-controlled suites, a beautiful play yard, and classical music playing softly in the background. An elaborate four-tier fountain greeted guests …

Some Situations Do Not Need My Reaction

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Start Living

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What If Growth Is About Removing, Not Adding More to Your Life?

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“Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about un-becoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.” ~Paulo Coelho

For years, any time I felt sadness, insecurity, loneliness, or any of those “unwelcome” feelings, I jumped into action.

I’d look for something new to take on: a class, a language, a project, a degree. Once, in the span of a single week, I signed up for language classes, researched getting certified in something I didn’t actually want to do, and convinced myself I needed to

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Being Silent

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6 Simple Things I Do When Life Feels Completely Overwhelming

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“You can’t calm the storm, so stop trying. What you can do is calm yourself. The storm will pass.” ~Timber Hawkeye

Overwhelm doesn’t always knock politely. Sometimes it crashes into my day like an unexpected storm—suddenly I can’t think straight, and everything feels urgent, impossible, and too loud. One minute I’m fine, the next I’m spiraling in my head, convinced I’m falling behind on everything and failing everyone.

If you’ve ever sat frozen in your car in the grocery store parking lot, staring blankly at a to-do list that now feels like a personal attack, you’re not alone.

Here are …

The Problem Isn’t You

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The Way Someone Treats You

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How Understanding Complex Trauma Deepened My Ability to Love Myself

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“Being present for your own life is the most radical act of self-compassion you can offer yourself.” ~Sylvia Boorstein

In 2004, I experienced a powerful breakthrough in understanding what it meant to love myself. I could finally understand that self-love is about the relationship that you have with yourself, and that relationship is expressed in how you speak to yourself, treat yourself, and see yourself. I also understood that self-love is about knowing yourself and paying attention to what you need.

These discoveries, and others, changed my life and led me into a new direction. But as the years …

Some of the Best Moments of Your Life

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I’m Okay with Saying Sorry to My Kids

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That’s Not Failure, That’s Growth

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The Beautiful Losses of a Childhood Moved to the Philippines

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“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.” ~Alan Watts

I must admit, dear reader, that I wasn’t always a fan of change—not even a little. I wouldn’t say I entered this world naturally inclined toward new or unfamiliar things.

Like many children, I found comfort in routine—the joy that comes from ordinary moments repeating themselves. Whether we realize it or not, repetition builds a mental framework that quietly defines our comfort zones.

Maybe that’s where identity begins, slowly shaped over time. And perhaps that’s why, …

The Strength I Found Hidden in Softness

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“You can’t heal what you won’t allow yourself to feel.” ~Unknown

I used to act strong all the time. On the outside, I looked like I had it all together. I was competent, composed, and capable. I was the one other people came to for advice or support.

The stickiness was that my version of strength created distance. I couldn’t allow myself to appear weak because I was terrified that if I let myself break down, I wouldn’t be able to pull myself back together.

Maybe underneath it all, I was so fragile I might actually break.

So I held …

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