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Being in a long term relationship and realizing maybe it wasn't the right choice

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  • September 15, 2017 at 12:15 pm #168786
    Amadala
    Participant

    Hello, I’m looking for some advice on a relationship I’ve been in for 4 years ..

     

    im now 24 he’s now 33. We met when I was 20 and he was 29

     

    We are best friends but struggle with intimacy. He’s working on his life long dream and I followed him because he was the sweetest nicest most determined man I’d ever met ( I also have a neurological condition which makes me feel bad most of the time)

    im not attracted to him and feel so guilty. I’ve never been attracted to him but love our friendship. I’m at the point where o am now trying to figure out if I should stay and continue to be miserable (even though I don’t understand why) or do the terrifying thing and leave and try to be alone again and hope that everything works out.

     

    I moved ver out of my parents house and into his , and we’ve moved three states and have both worked on this project together ( the one for his work)

     

    i love him but am not happy and dont don’t know what to do

     

    looking for for all types of insight and perspective

     

    thanks!  .

    September 15, 2017 at 2:43 pm #168880
    Peter
    Participant

    Your in a tough spot. There are so many dimensions to ‘being in love’. Almost everything may be good and still Love might require that a relationship end.  Life/Love demands growth

    If you are happy, you can give happiness. If you are unhappy with yourself, you can’t give anything else but that. Gisele Bundchen

    3 Ways to Know When a Relationship Isn’t Right for You

     

     

    September 15, 2017 at 5:32 pm #168888
    Eliana
    Participant

    Hi Amadala,

    It sounds more like a best friend relationship, rather than a romantic, intimate relationship. I feel you deserve to be happy. I understand you love him, but you deserve to be happy with the right man, and it’s not fair to him, for someone to stay with him and be unhappy, as I am sure you want the best thing for him, and you want him to be happy to with the right woman. It might be best to make a clean break, I know it will be difficult, but you both derserve to be happy.

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