I have never done this before but i am desperate for some advice from some one with fresh perspective. Back in 2014 I started dating this guy, and he made me happier than i had ever been. We never fought or had any issues, we had been together a year and gotten to where we talked about our future plans. And one day out of the blue he texted me and gave me all these fake reasons that he didnt want to be with me anymore and never spoke to me again. Never explained what happened or what caused it. But shortly after he realized he made a mistake and wanted to get back together. I was not willing to after what he had done before and could not accept him back. He tried to get me back for 2 years. I finally decided I was open to giving him another chance because we were good together and he was the one I still missed and I was never able to find anyone else that made me happy during those 2 years we were apart. We gave it another chance and I made him explain to me the reason for why he left the first time when everything was great. He stated his dad was very sick and getting worse (his dad lives in another state) and he was very stressed at work and unable to get the time off to go see his father without losing his job. I understood that was a lot to go through, but to me you go through things together in a relationship, not push your partner away. Well he promised over and over he would never do that to me again he would never mess this up he spent 2 years trying to get me back and he loves me. Well there is a complicated twist to this. While we were apart he dated a few girls for short periods of time, never anything serious, well he got one of the pregnant. But he did not want to be with her he did not love her. He ended up leaving that situation and moving in with me. And we were great it was like things never ended. But his potential baby and the mother, he wasnt 100% certain it was his, put a strain on us. I tried to help him and give him advice and be there for him, but I felt like he constantly kept me out, he said he wanted me involved and to be a part of his kids life if she was his but he never did anything to prove that. The mother was okay with us being together as she had a boyfriend of her own and was okay with me meeting the baby and being around. Which was a relief. but then all the sudden she changed her story and wouldnt let me come around, even if i waited in the vehicle and my boyfriend went inside to see her she would not let him come around if I was there. And i was frustrated because i had done nothing to cause that reaction we were all getting along well. The baby turned out to be his, and the mom making it hard for him to see her and impossible for me to do so put a very big strain on us, i didnt feel like he was trying to change anything. He kept giving her chances to do the right thing and let him spend time with his kid and she would screw him over every time, and he didnt learn. The girl put a restraining order against him and kept him out of his own house while she was pregnant, and he still gives her the chance to do the right thing like she is going to change. I became so fed up with watching him be manipulated and screwed over and him letting her keep me away from his child. She had a boyfriend of her own that saw her child more than my boyfriend, the father, and that ate at him, he was convinced that baby would grow up calling some one else dad and he would never see her. I could tell he was overwhelmed with everything and decided I would back off with pushing him to see his child until other aspects were more stable. I felt that the mom kept me away for suspicious reasons because we were all getting along and then she randomly changed and I couldnt fathom why and he just let her decide it and never questioned it or did anything about it. Which upset me and led to fights. But I decided to back off for now. Well the same day i decided that my boyfriend came home and told me he was leaving. Again. He packed up his things, no matter what I said he would not stop or talk to me about what was going on. I later learned that he told the mother of his child he would come back to her if he could see his child, I tried to tell him we could figure it out, go to court, we had plans. But nothing I said got through to him he packed up and left me, again, after telling me over and over he would never do that to me again. He said he didnt want to be with her or leave me but he wants to be with his kid and he was sick of us fighting. I have since learned that the way he reacts when he is emotionally overwhelmed is called stonewalling. His fight or flight kicks in and he runs away and shuts down. Does not communicate with me unless it is about when he can pick up the rest of his belongings from my house. And I am devastated, I have never been so happy or loved some one as much as him and I just want him to come back. Am I in denial for even thinking that? My family and friends say there is no excuse he planned to just leave me like that, he said he had been thinking about it for days, but he acted like everything was fine. He regretted his choice last time after a few weeks and wanted to come back. and i see that happening again we booked vacations together talked about our wedding and kids names. I thought we were finally ready for those steps. and then he ran again like last time. And Im uncertain and worried of what I should do if he does try to come back around. I want to be with him and make it work, but I feel as if I cant trust him after leaving me twice after he said he would never do that again.  Any advice is welcome. Im sorry its such a long post but its a lot to explain so you fully understand. Thanks in advance.