What you describe is normal, in that most people at some point in their lives have experience of such negative self-talk, if not a daily occurrence at some level.  You are correct that such negative self-talk can become a habit.

You’re on the right track by noticing and asking yourself what the payoff of such self-talk has for you.

Its interesting that at a phycological symbolic level the ‘step mother’ in the hero journey often represents negative self talk and inability to positively nurture themselves that the hero needs to overcome.

As we transition into adulthood one of the tasks is to come to terms with the mother/father complex. This may or may not have anything to do with our parents but instead is about taking ownership nurturing/protecting ourselves. Positively connecting to the mother/father archetypes.

3 Reasons to Stop Worrying About Your Negative Thoughts