John,

Your friend of 15 years killed himself in your home one week ago, and you were there when it happened?

If a long-time friend of mine killed himself in my home, I would without a doubt require hard core professional psychotherapy to get me through it.  I would make an appointment immediately. I would not rely on a website with random untrained people (like me) on it to help me through this.

My brain has trouble processing a single post that first describes in detail the events that led to the recent suicide of a friend and then to the hope that an ex-girlfriend will return someday. My untrained brain cannot connect the dots.

If you’re wrestling with feelings that you failed your friend and pushed him to suicide like you mentioned in your post, you need professional guidance. Take this seriously and fix it now.

B