Hi Katie,

There are several options here.

1. Carry the “NO” button from Staples. Whenever she mentions your nose, press the button: “NO!” I actually did this with my mother one Thanksgiving when she started harping on half the family’s weight. She never did it again after a few of those!! An airhorn works as well.

2. Say, “Are you OK?” She’ll immediately get defensive, but if you make it like you’re legitimately worried about her fixation on noses and she sees you whispering to others about it and everyone’s suddenly concerned she’ll knock it off.

3. For every nose comment take a dozen selfies (and even three-quarter and side shots!) and post them all over your social media. When everyone says how gorgeous you are she’ll eventually feel ridiculous.

4. Don’t answer the phone when she calls, don’t respond to her texts and avoid her when you can. When she starts talking noses leave the room to go to the bathroom or for the proverbial pack of cigarettes. Don’t come back.

Good Luck,

Inky