she was a little funny that way.  Basically what was the final straw or her excuse was that I copied and pasted a text she had sent to me, and I accidentally sent it to back to her by mistake.  She is very private and isn’t one to “parade” her feelings, ect..  Anything said or done was special, just between us.  So the idea of me sharing that text, especially with her friend “talking behind her back”  Felt like a huge betrayal to her, and that I lied to her about it, then also lied to her about how i felt.  I never told her how i really felt about things when they went south.  I always told her, it was okay and I understand.  Which was a lie.  It wasn’t and I didn’t.

She has a really big issue with lying.  She told me from the beginning about that.  So in a way i was lying to her for a little while.

Here’s the thing, though. I’m that way too. The difference is that I understand that people need comfort, and you seeking that comfort and answers with someone you know SHE trusts was better than you just venting that text to whoever or even one of your friends or someone she doesn’t necessarily like. I just think it’s possible she blew that out of proportion to ease her own guilt over what she did to you, making it seem like now you’ve done something to her so she can feel better about what she did. You know?  Trying to cover it up with a lie was definitely the wrong move, but still not so big a deal that it can’t be forgiven. You just kind of have to look at the big picture of the situation and see it for what it is, including everyone’s emotions at the time. Heartbreak can make people do some uncharacteristic things and I feel like that should be understandable, at least to a point.  It would be different if you did that every time you guys had a fight (while you were together), just blabbing private information to whomever, but in this case, she had just seemingly flipped her feelings and blindsided you with a breakup. That’s different.

 I still feel like she lied to me and betrayed my trust.  I trusted her with my heart.  I trusted that she would be upfront and honest with me about things.

Yep, she absolutely did betray your trust. You were under the impression that you guys would be together for the long haul, right? She broke promises she made to you. That alone would be enough to cause her to feel guilty. On top of that, she basically made the decision to end things without even discussing it with you, which creates a lack of trust in that, if you got back together in the future, you would wonder if she would just do it again and you’d be left blindsided… again. She also seemingly allowed herself to start an emotional relationship with someone else while she was with you. Huge breach of trust.  It’s really a case where, if you guys are ever meant to get back together, SHE needs to do the leg work and earn YOUR trust back… not the other way around. Meanwhile, that’s yet another great reason to let the past go and let yourself move forward without an eye on the past, because, if she did come back, you’d be strong enough and detached enough to make sure she had to earn your trust back rather than just accepting her right back with open arms before proving to you that she’s changed. Without clear change in both of you, the same will just happen again, so you have to make sure that change is there.