You just have to stop doing this to yourself. Read those last two messages you wrote and count how many times you wrote that it’s hard, tough, or it’s killing you in those short messages. I know you’re just venting, but this will show you where you need a mindset change. It’s only that tough if you make it that tough. BUT… you also have to just kind of accept that, even when it gets easier, you’ll still have times like this where you feel sad. My daughter and I watched a movie the other day that made me think about my ex and I got really sad over it, but I just let myself feel the sadness for a few minutes and then pulled myself together and we started watching a different movie and I cheered back up. You just can’t let yourself dwell on it for too long is all.

What do you think would change if you had all of those questions answered? Do you think it would really make you feel any better than you do now? Chances are, it would just bring up a whole new bunch of questions. If something happened, you would feel worse and even more betrayed, and if nothing happened, you’d most likely still be really confused on why she wanted to break up. You also have to know that sometimes people say things they don’t mean when things are emotional, like right after a breakup. She might’ve just said she had no regrets to try and get you to give her space or move on or she might’ve really meant it and just was really sure about her decision at that time. That also definitely doesn’t mean she did anything wrong. If she did, she would likely regret it unless she is a sociopath, and in that case, I don’t think you’d want her back anyway, right?

Just remember… when your brain goes into overdrive, overthinking, overanalyzing, you are ALLOWING it to do that, and that it isn’t helping anything. It’s not going to change the past, it won’t give you answers, and it will only make you feel worse, so I think the best thing here is for you to try different things to get you out of that mindset quickly when it starts and keep trying different things until you find the thing that works for you, and then just keep doing that. Maybe read some blogs or books on how to stop overanalyzing. It’s a really common problem and I used to do that too. It’s actually one of the things I had to change about myself. I found the thing that worked for me (which was just catching myself when I do it and then redirecting my thoughts), but you might need a different technique if the redirection isn’t working, so try different things until you find whatever works best for you. I think if you can stop the overthinking about what happened, that will help you more than anything. I know it definitely helped me, for sure.