I never agreed to with affairs, if your wanting to have a relationship with someone else then end your current relationship and be honest so they can move on, but I found myself  Having an affair it was going on for 18 months. We were very much in love but had limited time together, maybe a couple of hours every couple of weeks. However we spoke daily and for hours at times. We constantly battled with our quilt and on many occasions stopped communicating to try and move on with our own lives but it would be a matter of days before one of us would be back on the phone. This affair was emotional and about communication rather than lust. We knew each other for 6 years and had slowly found a connection with each other. His wife found out something was going on in November, he didn’t tell her everything and we agreed to stop. She was extremely hurt and told his three children aged 5, 7 and 10 that Daddy is a liar and cheat and loves another family. They begged with him to not leave and so he didn’t.

We were still having some communication but minimal. In December Something quite bad happened to me. When I told him he what happened to me he was besides him self and he felt the need at this point to tell his wife everything about us and how he felt. She beat him up, smashed his phone up and told the children many things. He told me he was going to leave her and we agreed that he would be leaving her not for me and we would not pursue a relationship until such time when he felt ready to do so.

She called me the day after he told me and she asked me what had happened,  I didn’t tell her because I felt it was something she needed to discuss with him and that whatever I said she would make her own mind up. She asked me if we were going to run off in the sunset together, I said that things are like that are they. She asked me why we had cheated on his children, i said we had cheated on her not her children. She was trying to get a rise out of me but I remained calm andonly answered her questions. After we spoke the next day he called me and he was very cagey I asked him why and asked him if he was now staying with his wife to which he replied he potentially would be, it was the right thing to do for the children.

She has taken away all means of communication from him, and he is not allowed out by himself. He has a work phone which he uses at work only and has called me only a few times. He has told me she is constantly verbally abusive in front of the children. He has no life now but needs to do this. He is certainly not allowed to talk to me.

I get it we have hurt his wife but I can’t understand why she would want to put her young children through the heartache that she is putting them through. She is also emotionally abusing him and says things like she is going to leave him with the children. I think this is what is making him stay, because she is using the children to keep him from leaving.

I am trying so hard to move on with my life but I think about him all day everyday, I ache, I have things that I want to share with him but can’t. I tell myself he needs to be with his children, I understand that and have never asked him to leave them for me. I don’t see how he can love his wife, he was unhappy prior to her finding out about us. I have so much going on with what happened to me in December and this involves my job, my life,  so it’s very difficult to focus on anything else.

I lnow now I have done this to myself, I feel like I am being punished because of what I have done. But I’m struggling to get by each day.