I really think shame is like a chronic disease. I reckon I’m an expert on feeling guilt (the Catholic upbringing did that) and then I somehow turned guilt (about nothing much really) into shame. I was totally irrational when going through infertility – feeling like it was somehow my fault (when how could it be) and then feeling guilty about my jealous reactions to others who were pregnant or already mothers. Because infertility was a long journey, I turned that guilt into full-blown shame over time and even now, with our two adopted kids, I somehow cling onto it and reinforce it whenever I get the normal mother-guilt of not being good enough, not doing enough. I’ve read Brene Brown and seen her TED talk – its a hard pattern to break, shame, even when you know you are being irrational!