Kathy Kruger is an adoptive mother of two beautiful kids from China. She blogs about going with the flow, finding yin yang balance, embracing change, and being grateful at www.yinyangmother.com. A former journalist, Kathy shares insights from her long journey to motherhood.
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April 10, 2013 at 12:21 am #33284
Hi Kavetha – I read your post and found it really helpful – especially coming from your personal experience of holding on to guilt when it sounds like you had nothing to feel guilty about. I like your analogy about the poisoned dart and the uselessness of guilt. I agree with Edit that the introspection aspect of feeling guilt would seem to be useful – but I think we just need to keep the introspection and lose the guilt! I hope we get some more comments in this thread, as you say – we all feel guilt, we just don’t like to talk about it much.April 7, 2013 at 8:40 pm #31944
I feel fairly confused at the moment as I understand spiritually that my purpose is to creatively manifest the universe through me – let universal power, or God, flow through my loving and creative actions. But then linking that understanding to a sense of purpose that is shaped into work/career/business and the reconciling some sort of core ‘meant to be’ purpose with a multitude of other important purposes in life ie being a mother, wife, friend, is much harder. Sometimes I wonder whether to keep on seeking, keep on changing and ‘flowing’ is really the only purpose?April 5, 2013 at 1:36 am #30703
I really agree with you Vicki – the opposite of fear is love, or at least love conquers fear.April 5, 2013 at 1:30 am #30701
Thanks for the reassurance Kelly. I did have a mix and muddle of emotions when going through IVF, I’m sure the hormones didn’t help. I don’t think I’m far off breaking the old bad habit of shame – it is just that – a bad habit!April 4, 2013 at 2:38 am #30465
Hi Kenneth, Frank and Marilyn – I also find it a little odd about the Christian suspicion about meditation. I would have thought that it works very well with the more focused spiritual practice of prayer. I have always found it to be very beneficial to be sense of calm, self and God, or universal way.
But anyway, I’ve been experimenting with all kinds of meditation practices and wrote about it on my blog this week. I would really like some feedback on the meditation videos I’ve done up for children – my theory is that our kids are so used to the visual medium they may respond to visual stimulus to calm and centre themselves. So if anyone would like to comment it would be most appreciated. I hope it is OK to post a couple of links – cheers…kathy:
One of my kid’s meditation videos: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jXbVd2VVNRo
My blog post: http://yinyangmother.com/meditation-march-into-awesome-april/
April 4, 2013 at 1:55 am #30461
- This reply was modified 9 years, 11 months ago by Kathy Kruger.
I really think shame is like a chronic disease. I reckon I’m an expert on feeling guilt (the Catholic upbringing did that) and then I somehow turned guilt (about nothing much really) into shame. I was totally irrational when going through infertility – feeling like it was somehow my fault (when how could it be) and then feeling guilty about my jealous reactions to others who were pregnant or already mothers. Because infertility was a long journey, I turned that guilt into full-blown shame over time and even now, with our two adopted kids, I somehow cling onto it and reinforce it whenever I get the normal mother-guilt of not being good enough, not doing enough. I’ve read Brene Brown and seen her TED talk – its a hard pattern to break, shame, even when you know you are being irrational!