Dear Anita,

I think after work today,  I will take some time to be alone. Maybe go to a yoga class and then get some dinner and maybe eat it outside in some park.  Take a few hours before going home. Maybe that is a good idea – I mean what else..

I’m at a loss..

My husband had a day off today (last minute) and I know I caused him so much stress this morning.  I know I cause a lot of stress. He was so upset and angry at my lashing out.

It goes back to that conversation between us a few weeks ago, how bad things got, how he chose to stay with someone who was abusive – and now often feels wow, stuck with someone who doesn’t seem to get better.  he has hope but he is human – a human.

But I also know I have a lot of stress.  I mean look at what we spoke about above, how horrific – and clearly all of this is embedded deep down, being activated constantly recently. anger at others, anger at those who do what they want.  perhaps anger at the injustice of it all. never feeling quiet and relaxed, feeling angry and roar.  perhaps never feeling any long term relief – and so not trusting that it is possible…maybe