A year ago I was hospitalized with an unknown medical disease that causes me to go blind, develop paralysis in all my limbs, affects my speech. After a month in the hospital and out patient rehab center I was sent home to learn to walk and other such task. From then on, I go through daily pain, vomiting and other issues that effect my life. I had another attack 6 months ago but i was only in the hospital for 1 week with out patient therapy. I’ve gone to many doctors and hospitals looking for answers but no luck. Even the Mayo Clinic is unsure as to what is causing all of my issues.

Two months ago I convinced my Aunt to let a good friend of mine move into with her since he was down on his luck and she could use the rent money. Two weeks ago I got a call that he attack and raped her. This has split my family into pieces with my aunt blaming me. To be honest I feel like I deserve it.

Then today I found out that my dad lost his job. I currently live with my parents due to my medical issues and college being expensive. We no longer have health insurance and will soon lose the house we live in. I feel horrible because my birthday is Friday and my parents told me that they have to return my gifts and we cant celebrate it this year. Ive never seen my mother cry as much as when she told me that. I understand their reasons and do not blame my parents.

I guess im just lost, confused, angry, scarred and nothing all at once. I never really truly accepted all my medical problems and now everything feels like its piling up on me.