Dear Anita,

Thank you for our exchange yesterday.  Extremely helpful and important to me, and I let it all sink in thoroughly.

This morning I woke up, and thought about the concept of not pressuring someone, putting stress on them – and allowing them wiggle room.  So that they may come to their own, relaxed, comfortable conclusion.

I like this, and yes – it is foreign to me.  Yes, I have been accustomed to an aggressive approach to communication – being direct, and asking why? what? who? – not appreciating the concept of space, time, and gentleness.

I see this and I will let it sink in more.

Also, I will say – I am open to both staying here, in NYC, or relocating.  I really think I am okay with either.  Here are a few reasons why:

1) One of my major issues with the current state is the job I am in, which allows me no flexiblity – and as you know – hardly allows for lunch, and requires me to push stretchers etc.

If we stay in NYC, I have decided I will take the month of January entirely off – and then work part time.  This will allow me mental space to have healing on a regular basis – which would be beneficial for myself AND my husband.

2) If we move to SD, I will take whatever job is available at this time – likely the Naval Medical Center – which seems to be not so bad in terms of hours.

He will take the job that we have spoke about.

all in all – both options are good ones.  We are in fact in a good situation, although it may be stressful right now – we will speak with his parents this weekend, not just because of the concept of relocation, but for their wisdom and mentorship and opinions.

I am glad to have you to bounce my thoughts off of Anita, and of course to gain your wisdom as well.  I hope you are well this morning – it is very cold here today! I thought of you and your extra strong coffee! Totally need that over here as well!