Dear Peace,

I too think your flatmate is guilt tripping you, and it seems to be common for all the men you were involved with. In their eyes, it’s always your fault that you want to leave them, as if it has nothing to do with their behavior. We’ve talked about it before – that when the child doesn’t receive love and attention, and is bullied or neglected, the child believes it’s their own fault. The child never blames the parents or care-takers, but themselves. That’s why you’re susceptible to blaming yourself and also to believing those who blame you.

You are not guilty for not liking and not accommodating to selfish people who’d try to use you this or that way. You have the right to dislike them and to protect yourself and separate yourself from them, both physically and emotionally. This flatmate is also a selfish, confused person, who doesn’t know what he wants and then is harassing you with his crazy proposals.

The best would be to find another flatmate ASAP, or move out and if you need a flatmate to share the costs, by all means find a woman! Don’t put yourself again in a situation where you have to share a flat with a man, and then suffer from any kind of harassment.

And remember:  you aren’t guilty for wanting to be treated with dignity and respect, and for wanting to protect your boundaries!

• This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by Tee.