My maternal Grandmother is no more, she passed away in early 2018. I always saw her as my mother. She was extremely patient and loving. She was really kind and a very good human being and I have not heard one person speak ill of her. She was uneducated so her daughter-in-law ( my maternal aunt) used to complain that she is not very bright but that was the only person who said that about her.

I have loving memories not only from my childhood but even after I grew up. I had a weird habit as a kid, I used to pinch the tummy of the person who put me to sleep. And that happened to be my grandma and later my mum.

My mum used to sneak from the house and travel between districts to reach me on my birthdays. I knew her as an aunt, not my mum. I used to call my Grandma my ‘mum’ then.

My Paternal Grandma lost her life to cancer when my father was still in college so I never knew her but my father says she was like me. And you know it is so funny, most of my habits were similar to my grandfather.  I observed him often then and found so many similarities.

I feel sorry for you TeaK. But I am sure apart from the fear of being alone, these experiences made you strong enough to deal with your demons as well as guide others to deal with theirs.

I don’t block his thoughts and so it is not bothering me day and night. As usual, the dreams began but they will end soon as well. I wish he had fought harder- his addictions and for me. Just as I did for him. But since it didn’t happen I can sit and crib and cry… Another day has begun and I must give my concentration and time to it