Dear Felix,

I feel bad, as i feel that i’ve been lying… and they might hate me if they find out that i do nothing to contribute to that development. Do u think im overthinking things or they could really end up hating me (the people who thought im busy)?

You’re not lying if you simply post about a new development, without saying something deceiving such as “just completed this development – phew, it was a lot of work but we finally did it!” If you simply share the information, that’s fine. You can still be proud of your company’s achievements, even if it’s not your personal achievement.

If some people think it’s you who worked on it, and they make such comments, you can say “I wasn’t personally involved much in the project, but I am very proud of it, it’s so cool”, or something along those lines. There’s nothing wrong about it. If you would consciously deceive people, making them believe it’s your merit and you worked hard on it, that would be deception and it wouldn’t be okay.

I apologize if i’ve been asking the same thing, i just wanna make sure my mind is completely settled… and it’s starting to get better day by day.

I am glad you’re starting to feel better day by day…

As for the girl, she has been someone you’ve been chatting with for 4 years (or even 6 years?) regularly. This means you had a connection, and she was interested in you. It wasn’t necessarily a romantic interest, but it might have been a friendly interest or an undefined interest. Nevertheless, it meant a lot to you because she was maybe the only one who showed sincere interest in you, and it felt so good. Since you have a low self-esteem, you needed someone who cares about you and appreciates you, because you didn’t care about yourself and had all those negative feelings about yourself. She was someone who didn’t condemn you, like you condemned yourself. That’s why she’s so precious in your mind.

As you start developing more self-esteem and start appreciating yourself more, you don’t need to depend on her to give you that positive attention. You can give positive attention (e.g. love, self-compassion, understanding) to yourself. It will be easier to stop obsessing about her, because what you need from her you can actually give to yourself.

I always feel that she’s so lucky that there’s a guy who keeps thinking of her like this.. how lucky it is to be her.

I think it’s because you feel you would be so lucky if there were someone who thinks like that of you. You haven’t experienced that someone has these positive thoughts about you, since you parents rather had negative, worrying thoughts about you. You crave for someone who would have positive, affirming, appreciating thoughts of you.

Well, the first person who needs to have such positive thoughts about you is yourself, Felix. And then, you will be much more relaxed and you won’t worry so much if other people have positive thoughts about you or not. You’ll feel warm around your heart because you love yourself. And you won’t obsess about what other people think of you and whether they hate you. So it all starts with yourself and giving yourself those positive thoughts that you crave from others.