Home→Forums→Relationships→Trying to deal with anxiety and loss after relationship break up→Reply To: Trying to deal with anxiety and loss after relationship break up
@Sammy1 married life is in many ways similar to our relationship prior because we have always shared a close emotional connect, the added extras such as the none restricted physical side and waking up every morning beside her continues to gives me a fuzzy feeling. I don’t think I’ve looked back once since marriage and thought of or even looked at another woman than ‘B’ that’s how mesmerised I am with her.
I have noticed one major difference, I feel a greater sense of responsibility and pride in her than before. I take our vows seriously and know how important this commitment is to me. It’s not something to take lightly and should definitely not be rushed into for the wrong reasons because I can imagine and understand how easy it is for the union to crumble when you live together to realise something is missing, I can see how for some when married those thoughts may occur. It’s almost like the new annoyances you discover tell you; this is it. Now if you ever felt unsure initially it will just fester insidiously that you are missing something. If you made your choice based on the right reasons your relationship just goes from strength to strength. That’s why I don’t think marriage should be rushed. Very rarely do you get a partner who is honest and authentic as ‘B’ so usually living together is when you realise who your partner actually is. So take your time.
I think @Jay2023 and I are telling you how we would feel and in most cases men are the same. However, how do you feel? I know you don’t want to prevent your ex from moving on but is ignoring him causing you a bigger internal conflict? I know you are very giving so ignoring must be going against your own grain. If it’s disrupting your inner peace then communicate. Tell him you wanted to be friends but feel doing so may be hurting him. I’ve come to learn nothing beats honest conversation even if it means confronting the hard truths. Let me know if you need anything an @ away. Look after yourself Sammy! You are strong, resilient, giving, caring woman and any person not just the men are lucky to have you in their life mate!