“You said that he was possessive and controlling, and I assume he was like that throughout your friendship. How did his possessiveness manifest (if you care to talk about it)? Was he jealous of your other friends, your career, or other achievements in your life? You did say he recently endangered your livelihood…”

He always tried to monopolize my time/attention and highly disliked it when I spent them on somebody else. He was also always critical of my other friends.
There was a project to which I invited him, that would then support my living. There he mostly alienated people with his reckless behavior and tried to defend himself when I told him to stop. He also kept making promises of helping me with this and that but never actually did anything I asked him of, even simple tasks, then complained about me “leaving him out of the decision making” when he himself barely engaged, had no idea about what was going on, encouraged me to drop the project and even went MIA for months.
So to say, the concept of personal accountability is mostly alien to him and he’s quick to anger.

“How did you feel about your friendship? Did you feel some guilt around him? I am asking because it may help you understand what made you susceptible to someone as possessive and as it turns out, toxic, as him.”

Perhaps I did to a degree as he often complained that I wasn’t giving him enough of myself even though he was trying his hardest to be the best friend. What I felt though is that I had to erect barriers to fend off his possessive behavior. Yet I still cared a lot about his wellbeing and such.

“I hope that we managed to pinpoint the main problem, and that things are a bit clearer now.”

It’s been very insightful so far and I appreciate everybody’s help. For now I have no choice but to wait and see. I’ll update the thread when there’s a new development.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by Tineoidea.