@Rhaenys thanks, thats very kind of you.

I hope you recover very quickly from the stomach flu, not nice being poorly. It’s very good to hear the new man in your life is caring and present. I’m sure once you’re back on your feet and fully recovered can make up for lost time!

I feel a lot better after speaking about it on this thread. Thank to you and @Jay2023 for responding. I’m touched. I had stopped therapy for myself. The wedding,  honeymoon and new house, it burned a huge hole in my pocket so had to make savings. I had achieved what I needed to. This thread though has a funny knack of steering me back on track.

Things are slowly improving, I’m trying not to push it and strike a balance but although B isn’t ready to talk about it, it was a breakthrough returning to our room, she and I both appreciate the physical proximity, so its nice to hold her and cuddle again. Right now just lying in the bed next to her as she’s sleeps gives me enough peace. I know it is going to take patience and love. I have to just nip those bloody self doubts in the bud.

I have realised for someone who communicates so well, is vulnerable, open etc she sure shuts down in very serious situations. I don’t know if this is fear left over from our first major argument or just two occasions where she has just felt overwhelmed.

I noticed for me the shut down makes me feel helpless, abandoned and it’s such a departure from our day to day relationship that my old insecurities and anxieties rear their head, but I’m trying really hard.