Dear Anita,

Thank you for talking to me about this matter. I don’t know who to share this with. I was lucky to find this forum and topic.

I should have been more specific about some characteristics of living in Vietnam and I definitely should have added the time frame.

1. Her dad actually didn’t wire her second BF money that should have been meant for her CFA test. The money was meant for her investment only, not CFA. Her mom who is kind and soft gave her the money (the money was not for CFA for starters).  My GF was for sure in love with this second toxic ex. The reason he physically abused her was due to this amount of money. She, at first, refused to invest as it was quite risky. Her ex then argued and laid his hands on her. When she told me about this second toxic relationship, she only mentioned her mom. This relationship took place last year, 2021. And her family’s financial situation was in good condition as her dad was still the director of his company.
2. Later, when her dad retired, she realized that her family’s financial situation is not gonna be as good as it was. So she decided to return the money to her mom. She and her mom talked about this money. She never mentioned her dad so I suppose her dad has no clue about this from the beginning. She only started to talk against her dad later on when she was a teenager. Sometimes, her dad can be really unreasonable.
3. Originally, she was not a city dweller like I am. Her family came from a small town in Vietnam. And to go to schools that are located in the city, one needed to be a city dweller. I know it was a stupid rule. So her dad had to ask for a person’s favor to be a city dweller even though she would travel a long way from her town to school in the city. He wanted her to thrive in the academic environment
4. My GF is the type of shy person and she sometimes doesn’t fight back for her own benefit. Since she was once dominated by her toxic exes, she tended to do things for them against her will. The work colleague that forced her was her 3rd ex. They worked in the same company and she went to that colleague’s farewell party.
5. I refer to us as BF & GF because I believe deep down, she’s going through a lot and she doesn’t want to drag me down with her. She would take care of me when I had an accident. She came to my house and took care of me. She always cared about me….I know love is blind. A lot of my friends told me to give up but I’d rather learn a bitter lesson than take an easy way out. 🙁
6. I have read articles on why someone tends to push their loved ones away and my GF’s condition is among those why-s
7. No matter how things end, I’ll never be mad at her. I used to rush into rebound relationships only to realize that I still loved my ex. I think I’m going through what I did to my past exes who deserved happiness. I need to know what it feels like to be hurt this way.

Thank You, Anita