Hello,

I’m sorry that you are so sad. Relationship break downs are the worst.

There isn’t much I can say to help. Just try and take pleasure in the little things, the beauty of the art and the beauty of the wine. Some wine anyway, not too much 😉

I wish you all the best

Be happy that you know feelings like this.. they are not owned by him.. they are yours.. you create these feelings.. not the other person

Direct the feelings elsewhere.. most often towards yourself..

I do not know the separation story but from what I have learned about attachment I feel better when I stay focused on WHO is creating the emotions 😉

How do I feel about this
How would I like to feel about this
How do I choose to feel about this
How do I feel about this now

Hi Jamie:

My daughter married last year in September, her new husband came home six months after the wedding and announced he wasn’t happy and wanted a divorce. We don’t live in close proximity of each other so we talked on the phone a few times every day for quite a while and still do. I understand what you are going through. I just kept telling my daughter that when God closes one door he opens another. Not real helpful words at a time when you are hurting so much and it was a struggle for her too. After the divorce was final she met this wonderful young man that just adores her the way she should be adored, his marriage ended the same way, his was a few years ago so they aren’t on the rebound and it has taken her sometime to put her trust in a lot of things. I think what is most important is “you”..you will have days of struggle, your heart has been broken and you think it will never heal, but it will. If you have a good support system that also helps, staying busy and being kind to yourself, if you need to talk about how you are feeling reach out to someone you trust. We women tend to need to talk and talk until we are either exhausted of talking or figure something out and then sometimes we still don’t resolve the issue, but some how we feel a little better when we have someone to talk to. It is ok to feel sadness and lonely at times, try not to stay there though. Find a new hobby, do things that you might have always wanted to do but for some reason didn’t do them. Now is “your” time, spend it wisely and thoughtfully.

Linda

Hi Jaime,

I’m really sorry to hear about your situation. I know exactly what you are going through. I was with someone for 3 years before things started to go wrong. When we split the first time I was devastated, couldn’t eat or sleep and constantly thought about him. Even when I was trying to keep myself busy, he was always there in my mind. As a result I kept reaching out to him to try to resolve our issues and make things work. We did make up only to split again months or weeks later. I came across this website recently and have loved reading the posts because I now recognise that my biggest issue was understanding why it a happened when I thought we were happy. There really are no answers that will ever satisfy me. You may feel the same way? I think what has helped me to move on is exactly what the other responders have written. Surround yourself with the people that love you, and if you can’t, talk to them on the phone. Do something new to keep your mind busy. Talk to people you trust about how you are feeling, people that will allow you the time and space to do this without judgement. Do the things you love and allow yourself to really enjoy them by focussing on the present. People always said to me it would get better and I was unsure it would, but please believe that time is a great healer and you will eventually be able to think about the relationship without feeling pain. Much love to you, stay strong, and do what you feel is right for you xx

OK, I am new here I don’t even know where to start but I have been thru a lot but I have a good life and want to talk about it…