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August 15, 2013 at 11:44 am #40554
LettyParticipantHi Buddhist Wife, thank you for your reply. Wow, your first question really made me think! I have been married before as has this man. We both have children from previous marriages. If I’m honest with myself, he also chose to leave his daughter for a job, she was staying with us 3 days a week when we lived together. I really loved his daughter like she was my own, but he struggled to get close to my son in the way I would have wanted him to. I know he cared , but he struggled to show my son any physical affection. What I want us stability, reliability, support and a genuine 50:50 partnership. I just can’t understand why I feel so attached to him? So maybe I just need to be honest with myself and realise that maybe he is just not capable of giving me what I want. When you said he is comfortable lying to me, that was quite shocking, probably because the truth hurts. I want him to change bug I honestly don’t think he can. Maybe our “talk”‘will just lead to another couple of months of hurt and stop me from moving on with my life. Thank you so much for being so honest with me. Sometimes when you are so entrenched in the drama of such a relationship you don’t want to see it for what it is. Xx.
August 15, 2013 at 11:21 am #40552LettyParticipantHi Kim. I also empathise with what you are going through. If I’m honest, I’m not sure it’s really him I miss now, maybe it’s what I wanted him to be, or how I wanted the relationship to be that I miss. I do know how you are feeling, the rejection is painful, it hurts. Someone told me that time heals everything, and I think I’m starting to feel the reality of that now. It’s not my heart that’s stopping me from moving on, it’s my mind. My friends and family have been wonderful and constantly reminded me of my worth. You are worth someone who will love and cherish you, treat you with respect, appreciate what you do, and truly be your partner. I really do wish you all the best in your journey. Much love x.
August 11, 2013 at 7:06 pm #40212LettyParticipantHi. I too am going through a break up, it is tough but it does get easier with time. Much love to you all xx.
August 11, 2013 at 2:34 pm #40195LettyParticipantThat was lovely Matt. Thank you for sharing. I totally believe that acts of kindness have a hugely positive effect and encourage others to do the same. Xx.
August 10, 2013 at 10:58 pm #40174LettyParticipantHi Jaime,
I’m really sorry to hear about your situation. I know exactly what you are going through. I was with someone for 3 years before things started to go wrong. When we split the first time I was devastated, couldn’t eat or sleep and constantly thought about him. Even when I was trying to keep myself busy, he was always there in my mind. As a result I kept reaching out to him to try to resolve our issues and make things work. We did make up only to split again months or weeks later. I came across this website recently and have loved reading the posts because I now recognise that my biggest issue was understanding why it a happened when I thought we were happy. There really are no answers that will ever satisfy me. You may feel the same way? I think what has helped me to move on is exactly what the other responders have written. Surround yourself with the people that love you, and if you can’t, talk to them on the phone. Do something new to keep your mind busy. Talk to people you trust about how you are feeling, people that will allow you the time and space to do this without judgement. Do the things you love and allow yourself to really enjoy them by focussing on the present. People always said to me it would get better and I was unsure it would, but please believe that time is a great healer and you will eventually be able to think about the relationship without feeling pain. Much love to you, stay strong, and do what you feel is right for you xx
August 10, 2013 at 10:56 pm #40173LettyParticipantHi Jaime,
I’m really sorry to hear about your situation. I know exactly what you are going through. I was with someone for 3 years before things started to go wrong. When we split the first time I was devastated, couldn’t eat or sleep and constantly thought about him. Even when I was trying to keep myself busy, he was always there in my mind. As a result I kept reaching out to him to try to resolve our issues and make things work. We did make up only to split again months or weeks later. I came across this website recently and have loved reading the posts because I now recognise that my biggest issue was understanding why it a happened when I thought we were happy. There really are no answers that will ever satisfy me. You may feel the same way? I think what has helped me to move on is exactly what the other responders have written. Surround yourself with the people that love you, and if you can’t, talk to them on the phone. Do something new to keep your mind busy. Talk to people you trust about how you are feeling, people that will allow you the time and space to do this without judgement. Do the things you love and allow yourself to really enjoy them by focussing on the present. People always said to me it would get better and I was unsure it would, but please believe that time is a great healer and you will eventually be able to think about the relationship without feeling pain. Much love to you, stay strong, and do what you feel is tight for you xx
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