Dear Tee,

Yes, I would tell my mother from a very young age to become more independent. To seek professional guidance/support. To leave my dad because it was mentally affecting the entire family. I would provide resources, and seek other family members for her support. But she never could. She always says its because of my sister and I that she stayed but now that we are much older, much more independent, and she still chooses to stay, I am not sure I believe her when she said it was for us. Maybe at some point it was, but when you see it does more damage to the household than good, it’s time to leave.

The change in dynamic happened very recently. Mostly because my mom has really learned what things not to discuss with my dad, and my dad has somewhat gotten better in terms of being less angry. Fights still occur but not nearly as often. I feel they have gotten much better at walking on eggshells around one another.

My partner has been a blessing for me. Our time together makes me very happy, and I hope as more time passes, the sadness I feel because of my relationship with my parents will become less.

I hope you are doing well, Tee. Thank you again and hope to hear from you soon 🙂

Love,

Neera